This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
alas wrote: ↑Mon Sep 17, 2018 7:25 pm
Society has a responsibility to
#1 teach men about consent
#2 teach women they can and need to stand up for themselves
So, in this situation with jerk man of the week, society failed both him and society failed her. Whose “fault” is it? Our whole screwed up society. Who has a responsibility to learn better? both Kirby and every woman who is too afraid to stand up for themselves.
Rants done for the week.
I disagree-victim blaming and refusing to see how the patriarchy has oppressed women so they don’t know how to speak up contributes to rape culture. We all need to listen more to those not in power/victims and learn from their experience.
Edited phrasing
Yes, it is ultimately the patriarchy, so let’s all roll over and play dead and never change a god damn thing.
alas wrote: ↑Mon Sep 17, 2018 7:25 pm
Society has a responsibility to
#1 teach men about consent
#2 teach women they can and need to stand up for themselves
So, in this situation with jerk man of the week, society failed both him and society failed her. Whose “fault” is it? Our whole screwed up society. Who has a responsibility to learn better? both Kirby and every woman who is too afraid to stand up for themselves.
Rants done for the week.
I disagree-victim blaming and refusing to see how the patriarchy has oppressed women so they don’t know how to speak up contributes to rape culture. We all need to listen more to those not in power/victims and learn from their experience.
Edited phrasing
Yes, it is ultimately the patriarchy, so let’s all roll over and play dead and never change a god damn thing.
I never stated nor implied that we should not change anything.
If I hear what your saying Alas, there needs to be a better human survival mechanism in place so that potential victims can be aware of bad situations and reduce the chance of being victims.
I try to look at human experience as if we were animals in the wild. Responsibility plays a two part role. The predator vs the prey. However in human existence, we expect humans to not be predators, right? That's where we are naive. We tend to believe that everyone acts by the golden rule "treat others as you would expect to be treated. Only the world doesn't work this way. Everyone is self serving.
I don't know Kirby personally so I can't determine if his escort comment was a grooming tactic or just a dumb joke gone wrong by a man who lived through a time where it was socially acceptable to slap a female co-worker on the ass or make cat calls. Yes times have changed and Kirby should clearly know that this type of behavior is no longer acceptable in any professional environment.
Everyone is self serving.
Kirby was acting in a self serving way to put her on the spot with MJ use to push his own agenda. The same could be said about Courtney waiting to expose Kirby when she didn't like the tone of his column.
Will there be weak humans who are subject to predators? Yes. Are both parties responsible for their own survival? Yes. To me, that means Kirby should be aware of appropriate behavior that ensures his survival as a professional newspaper columnist. If he intended to trap her to push his self serving agenda, he risked getting exposed and disciplined for his behavior.
Courtney should also be aware enough to ensure her survival. She had opportunities to walk away and simply say "no thanks" when offered MJ.
Both are responsible for what happened. Both are victims of their own failings to act appropriately.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy
“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga
“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
Sexual assault is in the news very much these days, as it happens to males as well as females. For example, there are thousands of cases of sexual abuse towards males committed by Catholic church clergy. So, there are many people in counseling to deal with the trauma caused by the abuse.
Old school counseling sometimes seeks to place the blame on the victim for not speaking out. The question asked is, "Why didn't you try to stop him, because otherwise he assumes you are consenting" .........when the question should actually be, "Why didn't the perpetrator ask for consent, rather than assuming?"
In the Kirby case, it seems to me, that he took advantage of his celebrity status to assume that Courtney Kendrick should be flattered by his ( completely off the wall) comments and behaved in a manner that was out of line and offensive. Kirby is responsible for this behavior, and is appropriately being held accountable for it. -- Wndr.
Wonderment wrote: ↑Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:17 pm
Sexual assault is in the news very much these days, as it happens to males as well as females. For example, there are thousands of cases of sexual abuse towards males committed by Catholic church clergy. So, there are many people in counseling to deal with the trauma caused by the abuse.
Old school counseling sometimes seeks to place the blame on the victim for not speaking out. The question asked is, "Why didn't you try to stop him, because otherwise he assumes you are consenting" .........when the question should actually be, "Why didn't the perpetrator ask for consent, rather than assuming?"
In the Kirby case, it seems to me, that he took advantage of his celebrity status to assume that Courtney Kendrick should be flattered by his ( completely off the wall) comments and behaved in a manner that was out of line and offensive. Kirby is responsible for this behavior, and is appropriately being held accountable for it. -- Wndr.
Yes, and I was never saying that Courtney was in anyway responsible for HIS comment. I am saying she is responsible for her reaction. REaction. I am saying I want a discussion about her reaction so we can teach women a better reaction.
