An apologetic site on steroids - is the scroll of Amenhotep a real thing?

[Arcturus]

I truly wish Joseph had lived long enough to translate the Book of Joseph and the Kinderhook plates. I really believe that had he not been killed that he would've eventually hung himself for even the more devout members to see with the kinds of crap he was pulling out of these things.

*Conspiracy Theory* Maybe Brigham, complicit in the fraud, saw Joseph getting out of hand with everything (claiming to know Egyptian, etc.) and orchestrated the mob. It's interesting that Brigham didn't really seem to attempt a replication of grandiose revelations, etc. like Joseph, maybe besides the AG theory. Then again, he claimed that the AG theory originated with Joseph, right?

[Archimedes]

I'm not a witch [slave].

But you look like a witch [slave].

You put these on me! [Carved my snout and ears off]!

[Palerider]

I have to say, I would give odds that figure #4 is no prince. Princess is much more likely.

I'm betting she's a female. Love to have a real Egyptologist offer an opinion on that!

[moksha]

Explanation

Fig. 1. Asthma sufferer stifling a horrendous sneeze.

Fig. 2. Communications officer wearing the sacred antenna.

Fig. 3. Venus Flytrap about to a consume baby duck.

Fig. 4. Mindy, the asthma sufferers teenage daughter

Fig. 5. Chad Hotep, Mindy's boyfriend.

Fig. 6. One-eyed alien with a thing for Chad.

Mindy is asking asthma dad for ten gold shats so that she and Chad can go that night's chariot races. Bruce the one-eyed alien will probably tag along to cop some feels off of Chad.

[Reuben]

Explanation

Fig. 1. Asthma sufferer stifling a horrendous sneeze.

Fig. 2. Communications officer wearing the sacred antenna.

Fig. 3. Venus Flytrap about to a consume baby duck.

Fig. 4. Mindy, the asthma sufferers teenage daughter

Fig. 5. Chad Hotep, Mindy's boyfriend.

Fig. 6. One-eyed alien with a thing for Chad.

Mindy is asking asthma dad for ten gold shats so that she and Chad can go that night's chariot races. Bruce the one-eyed alien will probably tag along to cop some feels off of Chad.

I want this to be true so hard. Maybe if I say enough that it is, I'll start to believe it.

[Hagoth]

I have to say, I would give odds that figure #4 is no prince. Princess is much more likely.

I'm betting she's a female. Love to have a real Egyptologist offer an opinion on that!

You know John Gee actually claims that figures 2 and 4 are men in drag. Funny how BYU Egyptologists can see things that non-Mormon Egyptologists can't. I'm not sure what he says about a snack tray named Abraham and a slave with dog ears.

[jfro18]

I have to say, I would give odds that figure #4 is no prince. Princess is much more likely.

I'm betting she's a female. Love to have a real Egyptologist offer an opinion on that!

Either way, that prince is not going to be allowed to be a temple recommend holding Mormon in 2018!

[Archimedes]

At least none of these figures are really canopic jars.

And I would love to know what the snack tray is going on about.

[wtfluff]

Here's another interesting thing about Facsimile 3.

Notice that the Anubis character who is misrepresented by Joseph as a slave still has Anubis' ears on the top of his head. If you look at the printing block you can see that it also once had Anubis' snout, but Joseph had the printmaker remove it. Apparently he had a "translation" in his head that didn't fit well with the dog-headed character on the original so he had it changed. You can tell something was removed from the front of this character's head by the very deliberate vertical tool marks that left the head with no snout but with a weird flat face:

AnubisSnout.JPG

Too bad the original fragment was lost.

Holy [bad-word]!

Written by the "hand of Abraham," but somehow Abraham got it completely wrong, so Joseph had to change it.

It was obvious that Joseph made up the characters in Facsimile 3 where they were actually missing from the fragments, but actually modifying existing characters? (DoubleFacePalm)

[Palerider]

I have to say, I would give odds that figure #4 is no prince. Princess is much more likely.

I'm betting she's a female. Love to have a real Egyptologist offer an opinion on that!

You know John Gee actually claims that figures 2 and 4 are men in drag. Funny how BYU Egyptologists can see things that non-Mormon Egyptologists can't.

Please tell me you're kidding???

Men in drag? That's just insane....

[slavereeno]

"Yeah well, ya know, Joseph just got carried away 'cuz he was an unedumecated farm poop, all the rest of its true! Well, except the anachronisms like Chaldean, that was just "Translation" cuz, ya know, unedumecated farm poop. And stuff." said every apologist ever. (I may be paraphrasing a little...)

[Archimedes]

This is the smoking gun I tell ya. If you want "proof" that Joseph Smith was not what he said he was, it's right there in the book of Abraham.