You Can Say No

[Linked]

I had a special moment with my 5 year old son last night. He just started a new class of swimming lessons that is significantly harder than the last one; it is in the larger pool where he can't quite touch the bottom, they are learning actual strokes, and they are expected to be able to stay afloat. He is not a strong swimmer and hates putting his face in the water because he can't breath and it gets in his eyes so he panics. Last night was his second lesson with this class and he was terrified to go, he cried when it was time to leave, and cried during the ride there, but he still hopped into the pool and tried his best with occasional tears and regular looks at me wishing he didn't have to do the lessons.

I told him he had to go and told him to stay in the pool when he wanted to get out, but I made sure the lessons weren't too hard for him, if they asked him to do something actually dangerous I would have gotten him out of there. At the end of the class they had to jump into the deep end, and this was what scared my son the most. As we walked over to the deep end he was bawling, his eyes filled with terror. My heart was breaking for him because I remember feeling that way. When we got there I turned to him and said, "You can say No." He immediately stopped crying and it was like lightning struck his brain and he replied, "I can? How?" And I responded, "You just say no. You can always say no." When his turn came he told the teacher he wasn't going to jump in, the teacher tried to convince him and offered to catch him, but my boy was determined so he didn't.

We went to the lesson coordinator and got him put into the easier class for the rest of the lessons, he will get to the harder class someday, but not today.

I wish more people in the church could get the courage to say no to things that will ruin their lives, like over-burdensome callings and tithing. Hopefully last night my son got started on the path to being able and willing to say no to things that will hurt him.

[Korihor]

This is blasphemy.

Baptism at 8, Deacon at 12, Teacher at 14, Priest at 16 and mission at 18

If you let him off the hook now with swim lessons, you're setting him up for failure for the rest of his life.

We can't go around making exceptions for the rules and letting people learn at their own place, just imagine what would happen! People would think they are smarter than their leaders!

Heresy! /s

Congrats - you get my vote for Dad of the Year award.

[wtfluff]

No.

It's a complete sentence!

Really hard to say when it comes to all things related to the LDS Corporation; Though once you try, it gets easier each time ...

[Snowdrop]

I love this story and the relationship you are building with your son! He will be a healthier human for knowing that he can say no. It's a difficult thing to learn as an adult. I'm working on saying no and it is an empowering word!

[Newme]

No.

It's a complete sentence!

Really hard to say when it comes to all things related to the LDS Corporation; Though once you try, it gets easier each time ...

Well put!
It's kind of sad when I see people busting their but because they feel obligated to - like this woman who just had a baby and has a demanding calling.

Luckily, I had a bishop a while back - when I was very TBM - who helped set a good foundation. I was miserable in a calling but I told him I'd try - and he said God doesn't want us to be miserable and he released me. Freedom! Of course, my freedom was tested countless times after that, but still, it helped having heard that from him.