Stuff you find on an old HD

[moksha]

Was looking at some stuff on an old hard disk and ran across a story I wrote for the Fox Republic. Sort of a time capsule for the events of April 1, 2010.

World Ends Due to Obamacare
Fox Republic, April 1, 2010

The World ended today due to Obamacare. As you know, we at the Fox Advocacy Group have been saying all along that Obamacare would lead to communism, socialism and the legions of the undead arising and eating our brains.

While none of those things have occurred, it was only prevented by the world ending so suddenly. “It was indeed a sad day for those of us at Fox”, said Sean Hannity. “All of us were expecting to be swept up in some sort of rapture”.

“We wanted to end this broadcast with Rush Limbaugh giving the last blast to this diabolical Obamacare, but he said he needed to meet with a high-level pharmaceutical representative to sort out some last minute matters”.

“We then turned to Glenn Beck, but he was a bit too hysterical to be understandable for this final broadcast, however, in breaking with our standard policy we are switching to a live feed from Bill O’Reilly as played by Steven Colbert.

Steven, can you hear me?”

“Yes, Sean. May I say that it is only appropriate to have America’s prime symbol of justice speaking to you at this time from both Comedy Central, and what did you say your network was called?”

“The Fox Advocacy Group.”

“Yes, that is right Sean. It is time that America learned the truth about Obamacare that we have been saying for a long time, and that is that starting tomorrow you will no longer have to brush your teeth.”

“Sure those liberal do-gooders are trying to sell you on the idea that the world will end due to the impact of the giant meteor hurling our way at an incredible speed, but face it, Sean, this is all due to Obamacare.”

“(garbled) … but Steven, it is due to Obamacare. It say’s so right here in my notes.”

”Absolutely right and that is the story we will maintain right up until the meteor crash, Sean. Wait, I know. Let’s see how many times we can say Obamacare in these last remaining seconds. Obamacare, Obamacare, Oba…”

[MoPag]

“We then turned to Glenn Beck, but he was a bit too hysterical to be understandable for this final broadcast,

So they would always used to play FOX news in the break room at my work. And one day I'm heating up my lunch and I look over at the tv and Glenn beck is screaming and throwing eclairs all over the place. And just as I'm thinking "what the hell..." this older lady leans over and says "Did you know he's one of those Mormons?" This was back in the day when I was still TBM. I was so mortified.