I Bore My NOM Testimony *UPDATE*

[Deepthinker]

OK, so related to the other thread I started about DW digging in, I made a commitment to her that I would bear my testimony next fast Sunday.

I have written what I'm mostly comfortable with as a testimony and wanted to post it here to get any feedback. I want to use phrases like "I have a testimony of" to leave it open to interpretation of what I think a testimony is. Also, I'm defining God as love, which is backed by scripture.

I'm not sure about the part about certainty being the opposite of faith. While I believe that, it might give me away. I just want to get people thinking.

Also, I do want to specifically say the words: "DW, I love you" and "Kids, I love you." I noticed often people get up and say "I want to express my love to my wife and kids", yet they never make the statement of love, they only say they want to express it.

Anyway, here goes. Let me know what you think:

I have been pondering a quote that I'm sure many of you have heard before. It goes something like "uncertainty is the only certainty there is". I think often we can feel that way because there is so much uncertainty in life. But, I disagree with this quote. There are some things that I am certain about and it's not just death and taxes. I think that's a different quote.

Some of the things I am certain about really are the core of my testimony, and I'd like to share them with you.

I'm certain of the unconditional love I have for my wife and our kids. DW, I love you.

• , I love you too.
  
  I have a testimony of God and that God is love. That our main goal in this life is to remove the barriers that prevent us from loving as Christ's example taught. I believe that is how we can achieve happiness.
  
  I'm also certain about how I feel when I follow Christ's teachings. I know I'm happier. I have a testimony of patience, kindness, charity, and service. I have a testimony of Christ and his teachings.
  
  I have a testimony of prayer. I know how I feel when I meditate, ponder, or say a silent prayer. It renews me and increases my focus on what is important in life. I'm able to express my hopes and desires to God and it strengthens my resolve to try to achieve those hopes and desires.
  
  I have a testimony of scriptures. I know how I feel when I read certain scriptures. I'm inspired to better myself.
  
  I believe that being able to live with uncertainty helps us in our pursuit of happiness. I believe that doubt is not the opposite of faith, but certainty is. Being certain about too many things in this life means we have less faith and our ability to learn and grow as God tries to teach us is limited.
  
  Regardless of everything going on in the world, I do have faith in the goodness of people. I hope that we can be examples of that goodness to others, and I leave these thoughts with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

[FreeBird]

My "testimony" would be similar in some ways and different in other ways. But, that's part of the beauty of this type of authenticity that is often lost in testimonies that follow the traditional formula. I would have a difficult time doing this, but I think these types of non-traditional testimonies could have a positive impact.

Thanks for sharing. I like the emphasis on uncertainty in life and on love for your family.

[Hagoth]

Amen Deepthinker. I agree with your thoughts about certainty, so I wouldn't suggest you change it. As I told my bishop, certainty is what makes it possible for people to strap on bomb vests and walk into crowded markets. What we need in this world is a lot less certainty.

You're brave to do this and I predict that people will be touched.

[Korihor]

I just read the first part of your post without reading the actual testimony part. I wanted to comment in part before reading the testimony part. You are hoping to say things in a way that won't give away your true 'testimony' or lack thereof.
My hunch is that 95% of the people in the meeting won't catch on to anything you say. You would need to say something extremely telling for most people to catch on. So you only need to direct your words to a minority of potential patrons.

Just share a few stories about a spiritual experience while camping and call it good.

[Korihor]

Just read the actual testimony part, I don't see anything in there that would catch undesired attention.
Maybe the one exception is "God is love". That a rather evangelical saying. But not a big deal.

[Deepthinker]

My "testimony" would be similar in some ways and different in other ways. But, that's part of the beauty of this type of authenticity that is often lost in testimonies that follow the traditional formula. I would have a difficult time doing this, but I think these types of non-traditional testimonies could have a positive impact.

Thanks for sharing. I like the emphasis on uncertainty in life and on love for your family.

Differences are what make life so awesome.

You think I’m not going to have a difficult time doing this? I have thought about doing this before, but never went through with it. I feel like I’m in a better place now, so hopefully I can get through it.

Thanks for the feedback.

[Deepthinker]

Amen Deepthinker. I agree with your thoughts about certainty, so I wouldn't suggest you change it. As I told my bishop, certainty is what makes it possible for people to strap on bomb vests and walk into crowded markets. What we need in this world is a lot less certainty.

You're brave to do this and I predict that people will be touched.

Thanks, I like that part too and do want to say it. It does fit into the theme of certainty/uncertainty.

I don’t think I get points for bravery until I actually do it.

My hope is that at the very least DW is touched. This testimony is sincere, simple, straightforward, with no stories or anecdotes that I think will bring the “spirit”. It is authentically my testimony even though nobody will understand my changed definitions of God, testimony, scriptures, etc.

In doing this, I’m hoping DW will see where I am, that I can be a valid active member. I’m also hoping some of DW’s friends who listen to my testimony tell her how they liked my testimony. It might open her mind up to see how someone who has “apostate” views could still project the "spirit" to others.

[Deepthinker]

I just read the first part of your post without reading the actual testimony part. I wanted to comment in part before reading the testimony part. You are hoping to say things in a way that won't give away your true 'testimony' or lack thereof.
My hunch is that 95% of the people in the meeting won't catch on to anything you say. You would need to say something extremely telling for most people to catch on. So you only need to direct your words to a minority of potential patrons.

Just share a few stories about a spiritual experience while camping and call it good.

What’s funny is that DW has been worried ever since I said I would do this. Her first response was: “As long as you don’t say something crazy.” I know what I typed up as my testimony isn’t crazy, and I’m hoping she sees it that way too.

I laughed about your suggestion to share a few stories about camping. That would fit her definition of “not crazy”, but those types of testimonies drive me crazy.

[Deepthinker]

Just read the actual testimony part, I don't see anything in there that would catch undesired attention.
Maybe the one exception is "God is love". That a rather evangelical saying. But not a big deal.

Thanks, I’m feeling more confident about sharing what I typed up.

The God is love part is the only way I’m comfortable with sharing a testimony of God, because I’m OK with that definition of God.

[Korihor]

Just read the actual testimony part, I don't see anything in there that would catch undesired attention.
Maybe the one exception is "God is love". That a rather evangelical saying. But not a big deal.

Thanks, I’m feeling more confident about sharing what I typed up.

The God is love part is the only way I’m comfortable with sharing a testimony of God, because I’m OK with that definition of God.

God is Love is exactly the testimony I have now. Nothing more, nothing less.

[SeeNoEvil]

DP this is beautiful. Pretty gutsy move and one that I wished I would have thought of when I was still in the fold. Your words send a message that I should hope will resonate with the congregation. It might even stir up some reminders of the one person who seems to be forgotten in the Mormon mix.... Christ, as well as alerting the NOMers in the pews that you just might be one of them! You might find yourself with a whole new set of friends! Please return and report!

[Deepthinker]

I did it! I bore my new testimony yesterday. I didn't tell DW before going up, although I told her several times over the last few months that I am going to try to bear my testimony. The look on her face when I got up and walked to the pulpit was priceless. She said afterwards that she immediately started playing a game on her phone because she was nervous and wanted to calm her own nerves. She did say she listened to it, though.

I did say the majority of what I typed in the first post of this thread. I changed the part about scriptures to being certain that I make mistakes and bore testimony about forgiveness.

I had so many comments afterwards. Some were the typical "I enjoyed your testimony" and nothing else, but others expressed they were touched by it and talked with me for a minute or two about it. One said it was "sweet". Another said "I love your perspective."

What's funny is that one of my wife's friends texted her right after I sat down and texted: "Bishop Deepthinker!"

I can tell it changed DW's view of me, that maybe I'm not such an apostate heathen. I know she was touched, even though it did embarrass her somewhat when I publicly said her name and that I love her.

[Korihor]

Awesome work deep thinker. Congrats on getting some spiritual fist bumps from the ward.
I always find it fascinating how the spirit will testify of common sense, true brotherly love and basic human emotions to even the most ardent TBM.

The funny thing is most TBM's don't feel the spirit because of the church, they feel it in spite of the church.

[No Tof]

Good job DT.
That type of testimony, if there were more given, might persuade me to attend once in a while.
While I'm not certain, I'm fairly confident it won't happen so I will continue to boycott the three hour ordeal and worship how where and what I may.

Hope it helps in your home situation.

[Deepthinker]

Awesome work deep thinker. Congrats on getting some spiritual fist bumps from the ward.
I always find it fascinating how the spirit will testify of common sense, true brotherly love and basic human emotions to even the most ardent TBM.

The funny thing is most TBM's don't feel the spirit because of the church, they feel it in spite of the church.

Thanks, it was not easy for me to do. I just about backed out. I ended up being second to last.

In some ways it was good therapy for me to do this. I said goodbye to what I used to bear testimony about, and I've accepted the new one. Having my new testimony validated by others in the ward has been good. It makes me feel somewhat less of an "outsider".

I've always been able to separate feeling the "spirit" from the church, even at my most TBM. Maybe that's why I am where I am now.

I did get emotional while giving my testimony, which I'm sure many assumed was the spirit working on me. It was just the emotional release for me (such a long time building up to doing it), expressing love to my family, and realizing I no longer have the same testimony I did before.

[Deepthinker]

Good job DT.
That type of testimony, if there were more given, might persuade me to attend once in a while.
While I'm not certain, I'm fairly confident it won't happen so I will continue to boycott the three hour ordeal and worship how where and what I may.

Hope it helps in your home situation.

Thanks, it definitely has helped the home situation. My oldest daughter gave me a hug after I sat down which was great. DW was still processing what I said until after church.

[MalcolmVillager]

Congrats. I did something similar a few months back. I used lots of NOM terms. Several fellow nuanced believers in the ward approached me after to thank me. (We have several in the ward who are on a nuanced believer FB group). I.was probably a bit more bold. The very next testimony was a reactive (I know everything is absolutely true) in my face response. Some came up and asked if I thought brother X was responding to me. I knew he was but just said, probably not.

I don't know that I will.do that often, but as long as I am going, I want to.promote the destruction of "I know" language etc....

Anyway, good job!

[moksha]

That was one of the better testimonies I have heard (or read). It was a good message with the code words and phrases thankfully absent. It did what a testimony or witnessing is supposed to do. Thumbs up!

I am surprised you didn't have more glowing feedback. Being "sweet" is so lackluster. I suppose there is a learned response of not paying a great deal of attention to the average testimony. Perhaps many had put their thinking into neutral at the start of the testimony portion.

[SunbeltRed]

Fantastic DT!

[Deepthinker]

Congrats. I did something similar a few months back. I used lots of NOM terms. Several fellow nuanced believers in the ward approached me after to thank me. (We have several in the ward who are on a nuanced believer FB group). I.was probably a bit more bold. The very next testimony was a reactive (I know everything is absolutely true) in my face response. Some came up and asked if I thought brother X was responding to me. I knew he was but just said, probably not.

I don't know that I will.do that often, but as long as I am going, I want to.promote the destruction of "I know" language etc....

Anyway, good job!

Thanks MV!

I'm probably not as bold as you. I doubt anyone will try to counter what I said in the next F&T meeting. How can they?