This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
crossmyheart wrote: ↑Tue May 29, 2018 7:07 amNow you get the pleasure of planning/participating in a mormon funeral which may just push your wife back over to TBM status for a while (...) Going to be a tough few months.
Funeral was yesterday, and... you prophesied correctly! Many close to me are now doubling down on their positions closer to the church.
Thoughts of the afterlife and the warm platitudes of "living together forever as a family unit" were ripe. We got love bombed by members of our ward and so that would all go away if we were disaffected, the RS did the luncheon and helped with the decor, the dedication was tearful, the plan of salvation taught and everyone felt "the spirit" etc.
People double down on their core beliefs when they feel destabilized. Weird example: after contemplating their own deaths or even watching a David Lynch surrealist horror film called "Rabbits," people tend to dish out harsher punishments to reassure themselves that the world is just.
(Unless they had 1000mg Tylenol first. Humans are so weird.)
Mormons, and really religions in general, institutionalize a lot of coping strategies.
Learn to doubt the stories you tell about yourselves and your adversaries.
crossmyheart wrote: ↑Tue May 29, 2018 7:07 amNow you get the pleasure of planning/participating in a mormon funeral which may just push your wife back over to TBM status for a while (...) Going to be a tough few months.
Funeral was yesterday, and... you prophesied correctly! Many close to me are now doubling down on their positions closer to the church.
Thoughts of the afterlife and the warm platitudes of "living together forever as a family unit" were ripe. We got love bombed by members of our ward and so that would all go away if we were disaffected, the RS did the luncheon and helped with the decor, the dedication was tearful, the plan of salvation taught and everyone felt "the spirit" etc.
The meat hooks are set deep.
Been there. Very sorry. Give it a couple months and the TBM will wear off a little. Time to lay low and wait for the cog dis to do its job.
It may not hurt to recognize that the LDS church does not have a monopoly on eternal families. In fact, it is one of the few religions that teaches that eternal families are conditional. In almost all other churches, it is simply understood that you will see each other and be with each other again.
And what are the unique conditions that Mormonism places on this wonderful blessing? Tithing, and a misrepresented law of health. In other words "Give us your money and follow these group-binding but otherwise useless rules and we'll give you what every other True Believing Christian already sincerely believes is yours."
Well, I'm better than dirt! Ah, well... most kinds of dirt; not that fancy store-bought dirt; that stuff is loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff. -Moe Sizlack
græy wrote: ↑Wed Jun 06, 2018 6:32 amAnd what are the unique conditions that Mormonism places on this wonderful blessing? Tithing, and a misrepresented law of health. In other words "Give us your money and follow these group-binding but otherwise useless rules and we'll give you what every other True Believing Christian already sincerely believes is yours."
(Pssssst: You forgot the magic underoos.)
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus
wtfluff wrote: ↑Wed Jun 06, 2018 7:31 am
(Pssssst: You forgot the magic underoos.)
Oops! You're right, I forgot the other group-binding-but-otherwise-useless rule. We certainly can't get into super VIP heaven without those. Good catch.
Well, I'm better than dirt! Ah, well... most kinds of dirt; not that fancy store-bought dirt; that stuff is loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff. -Moe Sizlack
Reuben wrote: ↑Tue Jun 05, 2018 4:43 pm
People double down on their core beliefs when they feel destabilized. Weird example: after contemplating their own deaths or even watching a David Lynch surrealist horror film called "Rabbits," people tend to dish out harsher punishments to reassure themselves that the world is just.
(Unless they had 1000mg Tylenol first. Humans are so weird.)
Mormons, and really religions in general, institutionalize a lot of coping strategies.
Now i will have to watch this movie, after taking my Tylenol of course.
crossmyheart wrote: ↑Tue Jun 05, 2018 7:03 pm
Been there. Very sorry. Give it a couple months and the TBM will wear off a little. Time to lay low and wait for the cog dis to do its job.
This is good advice. The grief is still "ringing" seems best not to be rubbing salt into any wounds.
græy wrote: ↑Wed Jun 06, 2018 6:32 am
It may not hurt to recognize that the LDS church does not have a monopoly on eternal families. In fact, it is one of the few religions that teaches that eternal families are conditional. In almost all other churches, it is simply understood that you will see each other and be with each other again.
And what are the unique conditions that Mormonism places on this wonderful blessing? Tithing, and a misrepresented law of health. In other words "Give us your money and follow these group-binding but otherwise useless rules and we'll give you what every other True Believing Christian already sincerely believes is yours."
This. (and wtfluff's underoos!) DW has at least alluded to this.
Update:
Just renewed my TR. I guess I am good for another two years. DW was relieved and grateful when it was done. This stuff causes her a ton of stress. I dunno, I guess I just don't have the courage to do the "right" thing. I suppose I will be sticking with the easy thing for a while, I'll just pretend to believe everything. I put the garments back on this week after a big "discussion" about it. I'll just say the right things to the right people and eat my sh*t like a good little Mormon boy. At least I will get to see my kid's wedding.
From my current viewpoint, it seems that this is a choice between soul crushing agony for DW on one side or soul crushing agony for me on the other.
What a wonderful, loving, kind, Christlike, accepting people to put us in this situation.
Update:
Just renewed my TR. I guess I am good for another two years. DW was relieved and grateful when it was done. This stuff causes her a ton of stress. I dunno, I guess I just don't have the courage to do the "right" thing. I suppose I will be sticking with the easy thing for a while, I'll just pretend to believe everything. I put the garments back on this week after a big "discussion" about it. I'll just say the right things to the right people and eat my sh*t like a good little Mormon boy. At least I will get to see my kid's wedding.
From my current viewpoint, it seems that this is a choice between soul crushing agony for DW on one side or soul crushing agony for me on the other.
What a wonderful, loving, kind, Christlike, accepting people to put us in this situation.
It’s both validating and disappointing there are so many people in this situation. You have my empathy.
to put us in this situation.