I am sorry. I feel the same way about this. The other one that gets me is "this is a trial". This is being said about the effect of my daughter's abuser having consequences--not even legal ones yet, but he was fired from his job, his wife is suicidal, his neighbors are pissed off. He is having a "trial". No, he is having the consequences of illegal and immoral behavior. And you know, I never thought "child molestation" would be any sort of gray area, but watching family and ward members line up to help him, while no one says anything to us, is disturbing.
Everything happens for a reason. And sometimes the reason is that someone is a &^%-head and did something horrible. Sometimes the reason is global warming. Sometimes the reason is the job market. I feel like people say "everything happens for a reason" to make God the jerk, instead of to actually notice that cause and effect happens in the real world.
Everything Happens for a Reason
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MerrieMiss
- Posts: 580
- Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 9:03 pm
Re: Everything Happens for a Reason
Thank you for the responses. I got "it happens for a reason" at church on Sunday. I smiled and changed the subject.
I find it interesting people would prefer to confront the stranger over the family member. I would tend to say something to the family member over the stranger. One reason is while I don't know everything about family members, I have a pretty good idea whether they have any kind of experience with what I'm going through, whereas with a complete stranger I would have no clue. I'd hate to say something like that to the person who lost their child to cancer. Another reason I'd prefer to confront a family member would be that I would want to have a better/more authentic relationship with a family member than a complete stranger. I don't care about a stranger and a one time smile and nod isn't the same as a the weekly Sunday dinner having to put up with this crap. I'd probably not tackle it rudely or directly, more of a "Yes, I can see how people can see it that way. However, I think this is just one of those things. It makes the most sense to me." And see where that takes the conversation. I don't generally even bother with these conversations though, because I'm fairly apathetic that anyone cares or is even listening.
I wish I could just say no, not everything does and walk away. I guess I worry too much about other people's feelings. That and being polite. Politeness was a disease with my family growing up. I believe good manners are a necessity, but unfortunately I was taught to be polite at the expense of my own feelings. I find being polite and advocating for myself a difficult balance.
One of my first posts at the old NOM was about something of a sensitive nature and I really didn't think it through before I posted. Someone who is no longer active on NOM replied with their own very tragic experience and I felt awful. I was sad when the old NOM went down, but relieved too, because I hated that that exchange was archived there. I don't know all of you and I don't know your experiences, so I don't want to be unintentionally unkind. I know a few of the people here have had difficult experiences, and I don't know who has what worse and I don't think it matters. I'll keep my own problems (as if I had a choice). Life is hard, whatever the difficulties. And I agree, "It could be worse" is not comforting either.
I find it interesting people would prefer to confront the stranger over the family member. I would tend to say something to the family member over the stranger. One reason is while I don't know everything about family members, I have a pretty good idea whether they have any kind of experience with what I'm going through, whereas with a complete stranger I would have no clue. I'd hate to say something like that to the person who lost their child to cancer. Another reason I'd prefer to confront a family member would be that I would want to have a better/more authentic relationship with a family member than a complete stranger. I don't care about a stranger and a one time smile and nod isn't the same as a the weekly Sunday dinner having to put up with this crap. I'd probably not tackle it rudely or directly, more of a "Yes, I can see how people can see it that way. However, I think this is just one of those things. It makes the most sense to me." And see where that takes the conversation. I don't generally even bother with these conversations though, because I'm fairly apathetic that anyone cares or is even listening.
I wish I could just say no, not everything does and walk away. I guess I worry too much about other people's feelings. That and being polite. Politeness was a disease with my family growing up. I believe good manners are a necessity, but unfortunately I was taught to be polite at the expense of my own feelings. I find being polite and advocating for myself a difficult balance.
One of my first posts at the old NOM was about something of a sensitive nature and I really didn't think it through before I posted. Someone who is no longer active on NOM replied with their own very tragic experience and I felt awful. I was sad when the old NOM went down, but relieved too, because I hated that that exchange was archived there. I don't know all of you and I don't know your experiences, so I don't want to be unintentionally unkind. I know a few of the people here have had difficult experiences, and I don't know who has what worse and I don't think it matters. I'll keep my own problems (as if I had a choice). Life is hard, whatever the difficulties. And I agree, "It could be worse" is not comforting either.