Bigfoot the Nephite

[Brent]

OK. I believe in Bigfoot. I know there is absolutely ZERO evidence for his existence, that all DNA studies have failed and that he is now a solid part of the pseudoscience of “Cryptozoology” yet I believe. In all honesty I don’t want to live in a world where you know for sure one way or the other. Part of Bigfoot’s place in popular culture is that he may or may not be real. There is nothing but anecdotal evidence in the form of eyewitness testimony and “friend of a friend” stories. He occupies a unique place where he is and isn’t at the same time. I’d love to tell you my Bigfoot sighting story but I don’t have one. I’ve felt the Bigfoot “vibe”, the “something’s watching me” feeling that makes the hair on your neck rise up, the odd unnatural arrangement of fallen trees but I’ve never seen the guy. When you hear that strange sound in the night, be it howl or tree-knock there’s some kind of reassurance for me in the idea that it’s our large hairy friend. Maybe it’s because a vivid part of the Bigfoot mythology that he’s a benevolent master of the forest, he’s The Jungle Book’s friendly Baloo who doesn’t wish to be found. For background, I was raised and lived LDS until a few years ago. I enjoyed stories about the 3 Nephites and was enamored for a time with the “Bigfoot as Cain” theory/legend but now feel it demeans the big guy by making him first, too easily explained and second, casting him as a depressing/potentially dangerous character.

How is Bigfoot a Nephite? In my youth I also viewed Nephite/Lamanite history through the biblical glass we view Noah through, the idea that maybe something along those lines happened but the earth wasn’t literally covered in water; maybe it was just Noah’s neighborhood. Science is pretty clear on things like that, and Jonah as well, or Adam and Eve there’s just no evidence to support it. For me, Bible and Book of Mormon stories tended to be allegorical in nature—a teaching story not a literal event. Like Bigfoot you had to invest against the common/scientific wisdom and all evidence. Nephites and Bigfoot fail all scientific and scholarly investigation. Lehi and his progeny are have spawned a vast industry of “Crypto-Anthropology” or “Crypto-Archeology”. They are a Cryptid people like the inhabitants of Atlantis but enjoy Joseph’s vivid mythology as a base. It’s weird to say but because of the Book of Mormon there is far more things that disprove Nephites than there are for any other legendary people. You can overlay Nephite history across ancient America and, just like late night howls and tree knocking, point to the “proof”. That proof unfortunately, is easily explained by the non-believer and you must believe to see it in a light you where it can exist. A noise in the night that makes others simply ask, “What was that” suddenly becomes a “Bigfoot call” to a believer. Perspective becomes everything. I see a Mayan Temple while others see King Benjamin’s Tower. I see a cistern with steps so you can get out if you fall in and others see a Baptismal Font. Check out “Book of Mormon” tours to get an idea of how much money changes hands in the propagation of these myths.

In the realm of wanting to believe, evidence is completely subjective. That rock that somehow flew into the water can only be Bigfoot, that it rolled down the hill behind you and physics did it is entirely discounted. The lack of bones or carcasses is explained by the fact that Bigfoot bury their dead—really, really deep so scavengers can’t unearth them—or maybe on mountain tops—or deep in caves! Got a Bigfoot question? There is a believer answer. Google it. Got a Nephite question? There’s a believer answer. Google it. By the way, Microsoft Word doesn’t recognize “Nephite” as a word. Every time I type it, I get the red wiggly line under it. Someone in SLC must be annoyed. Sasquatch doesn’t get that treatment, nor Bigfoot because they are culturally widespread and in common usage. Bigfoot has a bigger…ah…cultural footprint than Nephites. Maybe Bigfoot is a Nephite that made good, crossed over as it were from pseudoscience to cultural phenomena; either way they are in the same cryptid family with the Loch Ness Monster: you have to want to believe.

The truth is out there somewhere.

[Gatorbait]

No, I'm not going to wade into the murky Bigfoot waters with you Brent, because I think that if there was such a thing as Bigfoot, some redneck would hunt it down, shoot it, and strap it onto the hood of his pickup truck.

But you did a damn fine job of writing this thread noble mon. Takin' my hat off here fer ya. Good stuff.

Nephites on the other hand- they have been shot and killed with arrows from bows made of steel long before steel existed. They might have even been strapped onto the hood of a pickup truck before pickup trucks existed- who knows? How'd we get sucked into believing that the B of M is worth the hair spray it takes to keep ol' Bednar's hair in place. How? People we trusted told us the B of M was true and we believed them. Suckered in.

Bigfoot, on the other hand- well not many can say that have heard "I want to bear-my-testimony that I 'know' Bigfoot is true". Nope. Sure, some bozo is going to say that good ol' Noah gathered sixteen ga-zillian animals and put them on a silly boat and floated around for forty days and blah blah blah- cause it was written in the Sunday School lesson book. But no one with a half a lick a sense believes that nonsense. Just silly stuff.

Anyhow, interesting post. Enjoyed it very much.

[Thoughtful]

I have a redneck friend who had watched Bigfoot trash his camp. He doesn't like to talk about it, and if he foes, he gets really shaken up.

My dad was telling me a skinwalker missionary story, but he didn't know the term skinwalker. I googled that and there are so many of those, seems the Navajo didn't care much for LDS elders after the Indian placement program...

[wtfluff]

Interesting, and excellent post Brent.

I wish more folks testimony of mormonism were like your testimony of Bigfoot.

[moksha]

There is a near-factual story about a Big Foot sighting in the Miscellaneous Forum under the thread Creative Mormon Mythology.
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=633

[MoPag]

Great Post!

I love that Bigfoot is like your thing. It's fun to have something you're into-but that doesn't really make sense, but it's fun to be into it anyway.

[Hagoth]

Great thread. I'm more an aliens & UFOs guy myself. I don't believe in them but I wish I could. Just like I wish I could be live in angels with gold books and magic spectacles.

Here's my observation about Bigfoot. A few years ago there was a guy sneaking around in the Utah woods breaking into cabins. Every night on the news they would show the latest pictures of him from hunters' trail cameras. They tracked him across 100 miles or so with those cameras but somehow an entire species of hominids manages to completely evade them. Yup, Bigfoot apologisists have an answer for this: sure, people get caught on those cameras but Sasqutch are too smart to fall for it. And nephites only used perishable building materials.