More Drama

[slavereeno]

- DS just proposed and plans temple wedding in August, temple recommends expire in July
- DW has cog-dis but wants to go back into the bubble, hates that she can't believe like she used to
- MIL passed away last night
- DS on mission is obsessed with church success, bordering on the unhealthy
- Our BP is getting released on Sunday, and they didn't ask me to be BP
- Church is going back to 8am after only 5 months at 10am
- I have had some health scares recently, (all is ok now though)
- DD recently had a little health scare
- I have started going about 50/50 with the polygamy panties vs. normal people undies
- We recently disclosed to many of our kids

DW is having an onslaught of emotions, that seems like a lot to deal with at once.

[deacon blues]

Wow! When it rains it pours. Best of luck dealing with all that drama. May the Force (of Love) be with you.

[crossmyheart]

You are on drama overload at this point. Condolences for your loss. Now you get the pleasure of planning/participating in a mormon funeral which may just push your wife back over to TBM status for a while. And add to that the pressure to keep up appearances to renew the recommend. Going to be a tough few months.
Hang in there. It will get easier.

[MoPag]

Hugs!!
I'm so sorry for your loss.
You have a lot going on and a lot of people that need to you to be strong for them right now.

Hugs4Slavereeno.png (29.5 KiB) Viewed 21878 times

But don't worry, You've got this!!

[Corsair]

This is tough. I can't tell you how to act through all this, but you are welcome to call me if you want to talk. Certainly we need to get you to another lunch.

As a purveyor of bad advice, let me offer my own unexpired temple recommend if you want and need to attend your son's wedding in August. Just remain aloof on the expiration of your own and you are welcome to use mine if that will help.

[IT_Veteran]

Man, I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time right now. Sorry for your loss, I hope you and your wife can be there for each other.

[Kishkumen]

- DS just proposed and plans temple wedding in August, temple recommends expire in July
Buggar timing
- DW has cog-dis but wants to go back into the bubble, hates that she can't believe like she used to
Be patient and loving, hang in there
- MIL passed away last night
So sorry, dearest sympathies to all
- DS on mission is obsessed with church success, bordering on the unhealthy
Not to question your judgement, but maybe it's just a phase. It's common for missionaries to go all out. It doesn't sound like this mindset it sustainable. Be the voice of calm and reason.
- Our BP is getting released on Sunday, and they didn't ask me to be BP
Make sure you have a full beard, pink dress shirt and rainbow tie.
- Church is going back to 8am after only 5 months at 10am
WTH?
- I have had some health scares recently, (all is ok now though)
Glad you're OK, that stuff only adds more stress to life. Hope you are doing OK and always take care of yourself and health.
- DD recently had a little health scare
- I have started going about 50/50 with the polygamy panties vs. normal people undies
My advice, it's summer, wear something comfortable for the hot weather.
- We recently disclosed to many of our kids
Honesty, openness and communciation - all good things.
DW is having an onslaught of emotions, that seems like a lot to deal with at once.
I'm sure she's having a rough time. Try to connect with her. Don't go to bed and face away from each other. Talk, talk talk. It's hard, I know. It's really hard.

[slavereeno]

Thanks all, love the NOM ward.

May the Force (of Love) be with you.

thanks

Now you get the pleasure of planning/participating in a mormon funeral which may just push your wife back over to TBM status for a while. And add to that the pressure to keep up appearances to renew the recommend. Going to be a tough few months.
Hang in there. It will get easier.

Thanks, yeah the funeral and wedding are going to stir the pot a bit I am afraid.

You have a lot going on and a lot of people that need to you to be strong for them right now.

Hugs4Slavereeno.png
Hugs4Slavereeno.png (29.5 KiB) Viewed 21 times

Thanks! you are speaking my language.

Certainly we need to get you to another lunch.

Yes, I am hoping that can happen soon. It was a little rough at first after the last lunch, but then it kind of smoothed out. It a cycle of hope followed by despair.

As a purveyor of bad advice, let me offer my own unexpired temple recommend if you want and need to attend your son's wedding in August. Just remain aloof on the expiration of your own and you are welcome to use mine if that will help.

Thanks! Currently the plan is to say what needs to be said to get the recommend so I can be there for DS and fiance. I have days when I want to scream to everyone at church to wake up! So depending on how straight a face I can keep for the interviews, I should end up with the temple club card for a couple more years. DW is uncomfortable with me having to live a lie, but not as uncomfortable as she will be with the social fallout of not being at the sealing.

Sorry for your loss, I hope you and your wife can be there for each other.

Thanks, she has been in hospice for a couple of months now so at least it wasn't really unexpected.

Not to question your judgement, but maybe it's just a phase. It's common for missionaries to go all out. It doesn't sound like this mindset it sustainable. Be the voice of calm and reason.

Thanks for all the responses... I hope it is a phase, he has some shelf items already and is one of the more rigid of my kids. I feel like he will either go full apologist or the shelf will come crashing down.

[Cadahangel]

Hugs it can be tough going through all of that I understand had a week myself PM me if you ever need to talk we are here for you!

[Kalikala]

Holy cow Batman! That is a LOT! I hope things go as smoothly as they can for you. I’ll keep your family in my prayers if that’s ok with you.

[Red Ryder]

Condolences all around.

Here's a little stress reliever that works wonders:

Tonight when you're getting ready for bed, strip down to your new undies and go brush your teeth for the recommended 2 minutes while you stand in the mirror and admire your choice of underwear. Take a minute to flex your muscles and admire your dad body and reflect on how good it feels to pick your own underwear. Raise your arms up high like you just beat Carl Lewis across the finish line in an Olympic race where you ran in your underwear in front of millions of fans across the globe. As you smile and gloat in your new found freedom just remember some "normal" people don't wear any underwear!

Now repeat the process naked and see which "normal" you prefer! If by chance your wife sees you and begins to wonder what the hell you're doing just look over at her with a big smile and ask her if she thinks Adam and Eve were really naked in the Garden of Eden or if that was just a metaphor for their innocence.

[Thoughtful]

I'm sorry. That's really a lot to deal with all at once, some of them alone are more than enough.

[MerrieMiss]

So sorry to hear about all of this.There's never a good time for any of it to happen, but sometimes doesn't it seem like it all happens at once?

[slavereeno]

Thanks Cadahangel, Red Ryder, Kalikala, Thoughtful and MerrieMiss! I appreciate the internet hugs, I will pass them on to DW. The worst part is this all seems to be happening in concert with my FC and the budding of DWs FC, which just seems to make everything worse.

[jfro18]

So sorry - that is a ton of different things all converging at once. I hope you get some relief on some of those soon... that's a lot to try and deal with at once.

[Reuben]

The worst part is this all seems to be happening in concert with my FC and the budding of DWs FC, which just seems to make everything worse.

That sucks, man. You can make it through together, though. There's a fine thing that happens when you can share your burdens with each other: their total weight goes down. Good luck, and hold each other tightly.

Okay, I have one piece of advice to repeat, which is the Mantra of the Disaffected: take it slow. Be very deliberate.

[græy]

That is a lot to handle all at once slavereeno. We're here for you.

The worst part is this all seems to be happening in concert with my FC and the budding of DWs FC, which just seems to make everything worse.

I would be afraid of thoughts like "We're stepping away from the Chruch and God gives us these trials to bring us back." weaseling their way into my wife's mind. Be there for her, so that she has no room to doubt who really is on her side, even as "God" decides to curse her for believing the truth.

[slavereeno]

I would be afraid of thoughts like "We're stepping away from the Chruch and God gives us these trials to bring us back." weaseling their way into my wife's mind.

Exactly this.

[Cadahangel]

I would be afraid of thoughts like "We're stepping away from the Chruch and God gives us these trials to bring us back." weaseling their way into my wife's mind.

Exactly this.

I know others on the board have scoffed at this Idea. I actually believe the opposite usually the adversary will attack us when we are heading in the right direction. i.e. when my wife and I decided to leave the church we had a car tire go flat out of nowhere the change she got after changing the tire? 666 he identified himself. Satan won't go after many church members because he is fine with them staying there and being comfortable and not having a personal relationship with God. Just my Humble Opinion take it for what its worth to you.

[slavereeno]

I actually believe the opposite usually the adversary will attack us when we are heading in the right direction

Actually, we used this on the mission, if anything bad happened right before a convert baptism we would tell the investigator that it was the adversary trying to derail their good decision to be baptised.

I guess I am inclined to think that crap just happens and we need to learn to accept it and move on.