My Kids

[Cadahangel]

So Right now my Family is going through a faith transition My DW and I are going to become evangelical we are planning to fully change over once we move in June because it's a different ward and stake so the reactivation crew won't be as big. My question is about my kids I have a 13-year-old Daughter a 9-year-old Son and a 14-month-old Son. My Daughter I think will be the hardest of the bunch she is in the young women's presidency, but all her friends are non-members so she has that going for her. My Son doesn't have a strong connection. My baby won't know any different. When would be the best time to bring things up with my teenager? How far down the Rabbit hole should I go? I believe in a personal relationship with God, and don't want to be like my Family and make her believe something she will hate later and in turn, our relationship will sour.

[Hagoth]

Are you assuming that they will also become evangelical or are you going to allow them to choose another direction or opt out of religion altogether? Is there a chance of them feeling like they're merely hopping from one frying pan into another? From an evangelical standpoint the only option out of the frying pan is the fire!

[Cadahangel]

Are you assuming that they will also become evangelical or are you going to allow them to choose another direction or opt out of religion altogether? Is there a chance of them feeling like they're merely hopping from one frying pan into another? From an evangelical standpoint the only option out of the frying pan is the fire!

Honestly I would just be happy if they have a personal relationship with God and whatever that looked like for them

[IT_Veteran]

Are you assuming that they will also become evangelical or are you going to allow them to choose another direction or opt out of religion altogether? Is there a chance of them feeling like they're merely hopping from one frying pan into another? From an evangelical standpoint the only option out of the frying pan is the fire!

Honestly I would just be happy if they have a personal relationship with God and whatever that looked like for them

Would you be similarly okay (if not happy) with them deciding they don't believe in any god(s)? It happens to a lot of us when we leave mormonism behind.

[Hagoth]

Are you assuming that they will also become evangelical or are you going to allow them to choose another direction or opt out of religion altogether? Is there a chance of them feeling like they're merely hopping from one frying pan into another? From an evangelical standpoint the only option out of the frying pan is the fire!

Honestly I would just be happy if they have a personal relationship with God and whatever that looked like for them

I just read your introduction, so I understand better where you're coming from. I think you're in the minority, where Mormonism hasn't ruined religion for you (see Mark Twain quote below). I hope you find joy in your new direction and I hope your kids find a path to whatever brings them joy!

[moksha]

Cadahangel, I am curious why you are choosing to be an Evangelical out of all religious possibilities? What makes it resonate with you?

[Cadahangel]

Cadahangel, I am curious why you are choosing to be an Evangelical out of all religious possibilities? What makes it resonate with you?

That is a fair question my issue with a lot of things in life is that Humans tend to make things more complicated than they need to be. For example just look at the bible at the Pharisees and the Sadducees. God gave them 10 commandments which they turned into mosaic law which had about 12000 rules. Hence my issue with most organized religion. They all tell you there is a god. Then they lay out a truly complicated plan to have a relationship with him.

That's what resonates with me with Evangelicalism. It's non-denominational. There really isn't truly an organized religion as much as a group of people who want to worship God together. I have had experiences in my life that I can't deny God. I have had some experiences with the other side up close and personal which now I know there is a God. I don't go into those until I have built a relationship with someone because I need to know how to explain it to them.

Anyway, I digress I always felt that there shouldn't be a middleman in the relationship with God. Which we see as very inherent in Mormonism and Catholicism especially. Evangelicalism its simple You believe in God, and you believe that Jesus paid for your sins. Then you spend your life Thanking him for that. You still do good things in his name. Not to earn your forgiveness. Hence, getting rid of you do all you can do and then it covers the rest mentality. It already covers everything and you're saved you show gratitude and that's what counts, unfortunately, that is too easy for some people.

A good example is a staff Moses had people look at to cure their snake bite it seemed to easy for them so they didn't do it and they died. Sometimes things such as being saved are that easy.

Sorry for the length of the post just thought I would explain.

[Hagoth]

Anyway, I digress I always felt that there shouldn't be a middleman in the relationship with God. Which we see as very inherent in Mormonism and Catholicism especially. Evangelicalism its simple You believe in God, and you believe that Jesus paid for your sins.

So can that be done without ever setting foot inside a church or handing over money to a ministry that's proselytizing for members? I'm ok with that kind of evangelism. I served a mission in Southern Texas and I saw an entirely different side of evangelical Christianity that had a lot to do with raising money and condemning people to hell if they didn't get with the program, which is really too bad because they were severely damaging their own message.

One thing is for certain, evangelical worship is a lot less boring than Mormon services.

[Cadahangel]

Anyway, I digress I always felt that there shouldn't be a middleman in the relationship with God. Which we see as very inherent in Mormonism and Catholicism especially. Evangelicalism its simple You believe in God, and you believe that Jesus paid for your sins.

So can that be done without ever setting foot inside a church or handing over money to a ministry that's proselytizing for members? I'm ok with that kind of evangelism. I served a mission in Southern Texas and I saw an entirely different side of evangelical Christianity that had a lot to do with raising money and condemning people to hell if they didn't get with the program, which is really too bad because they were severely damaging their own message.

One thing is for certain, evangelical worship is a lot less boring than Mormon services.

http://centerpointutah.org/about-us/what-we-believe This is a pretty good explanation of Evangelicalism

[Cadahangel]

Would you be similarly okay (if not happy) with them deciding they don't believe in any god(s)? It happens to a lot of us when we leave mormonism behind.

This makes sense when you grow up hearing that everything else isn't true and their is only one true church it ruins other churches for people for sure

[Cadahangel]

So question still remains especially for my 13 year old how far do I take her down the rabbit hole?

[IT_Veteran]

So question still remains especially for my 13 year old how far do I take her down the rabbit hole?

I think the kids need to know all of it, but not before they are able to process it. You know your daughter best - some things she can handle and others probably should wait.

Here's one of my concerns with my own 13yo daughter: If I bring up Joseph's polygamy and polyandry now, she's likely to just dismiss it because she already knows the church practiced polygamy. If she's a little older, she can better understand why marrying other people's wives, marrying teenagers, is so wrong and not of God. Counterpoint is, of course, the longer we wait the more indoctrinated she becomes.

It's a tough line to walk. Unfortunately, I'm afraid I have very little influence over her at this point when it comes to matters of religion and God. She knows I'm an unbeliever, I'm quite certain she buys into the message at church that if its not faith-promoting, it's something to be avoided.

[Hagoth]

Would you be similarly okay (if not happy) with them deciding they don't believe in any god(s)? It happens to a lot of us when we leave mormonism behind.

This makes sense when you grow up hearing that everything else isn't true and their is only one true church it ruins other churches for people for sure

If we are truly open minded we must also acknowledge the possibility that none of them are true and that atheism might turn out to have a better grip on reality. I think the hardest thing is to remain open to: the concept of God, the concept of no God, and various concepts of how He/She/They/It/Us might not turn out to be what we expect, based on what has been written in old books.

ETA: sorry, I have veered off topic. But what I'm getting at is what if one of your kids ends up being a devout Hindu or Muslim? Or atheist!? Or Pagan?!

[GoodBoy]

How far down the Rabbit hole should I go?

You can just stop investigating things when you are happy with your belief system! Just don't be judgmental of those who dig deeper.

Realize that it is all about the community and friendships for your kids. So if they can find a similar group of friends then they won't care.

[glass shelf]

So question still remains especially for my 13 year old how far do I take her down the rabbit hole?

Here's one of my concerns with my own 13yo daughter: If I bring up Joseph's polygamy and polyandry now, she's likely to just dismiss it because she already knows the church practiced polygamy. If she's a little older, she can better understand why marrying other people's wives, marrying teenagers, is so wrong and not of God. Counterpoint is, of course, the longer we wait the more indoctrinated she becomes.

It's a tough line to walk. Unfortunately, I'm afraid I have very little influence over her at this point when it comes to matters of religion and God. She knows I'm an unbeliever, I'm quite certain she buys into the message at church that if its not faith-promoting, it's something to be avoided.

I find that thought interesting. When we left the church, my oldest kids were 8 and 11, and I told them about learning about polygamy and how it was practiced. They had absolutely no hesitation in stating that was wrong without my prompting. I guess I didn't have to worry about the further indoctrination as we were done.

I think kids are amazingly resilient. I really thought leaving the LDS church would have been harder on my older kids, but neither of them cares at all, and both of them are glad that we don't go. I'm pretty sure some of my kids would have eventually left the church if I hadn't done it first based on their personalities.

[IT_Veteran]

So question still remains especially for my 13 year old how far do I take her down the rabbit hole?

Here's one of my concerns with my own 13yo daughter: If I bring up Joseph's polygamy and polyandry now, she's likely to just dismiss it because she already knows the church practiced polygamy. If she's a little older, she can better understand why marrying other people's wives, marrying teenagers, is so wrong and not of God. Counterpoint is, of course, the longer we wait the more indoctrinated she becomes.

It's a tough line to walk. Unfortunately, I'm afraid I have very little influence over her at this point when it comes to matters of religion and God. She knows I'm an unbeliever, I'm quite certain she buys into the message at church that if its not faith-promoting, it's something to be avoided.

I find that thought interesting. When we left the church, my oldest kids were 8 and 11, and I told them about learning about polygamy and how it was practiced. They had absolutely no hesitation in stating that was wrong without my prompting. I guess I didn't have to worry about the further indoctrination as we were done.

I think kids are amazingly resilient. I really thought leaving the LDS church would have been harder on my older kids, but neither of them cares at all, and both of them are glad that we don't go. I'm pretty sure some of my kids would have eventually left the church if I hadn't done it first based on their personalities.

I wish that were the case for us. My 17yo came and told us last month he was leaving the church, we’re hust trying to help him navigate that with family.

The 13yo though - she’s as TBM as they come right now. She’s pretty mature about everything, but she’s fully invested. All her friends are at church, she loves her YW leaders, it’s hard to see what might cause her to question.

DW asked her if she’d like to try her raspberry iced tea a couple weeks ago. She very matter of factly said that she did not want to try it and please don’t ask her again so she won’t be tempted.

[MoPag]

Are you assuming that they will also become evangelical or are you going to allow them to choose another direction or opt out of religion altogether? Is there a chance of them feeling like they're merely hopping from one frying pan into another? From an evangelical standpoint the only option out of the frying pan is the fire!

Honestly I would just be happy if they have a personal relationship with God and whatever that looked like for them

So would it be okay with you if she stuck with her relationship with Mormon God? Or is Mormonism the only religion you wouldn't want her to embrace?

[Cadahangel]

Are you assuming that they will also become evangelical or are you going to allow them to choose another direction or opt out of religion altogether? Is there a chance of them feeling like they're merely hopping from one frying pan into another? From an evangelical standpoint the only option out of the frying pan is the fire!

Honestly I would just be happy if they have a personal relationship with God and whatever that looked like for them

So would it be okay with you if she stuck with her relationship with Mormon God? Or is Mormonism the only religion you wouldn't want her to embrace?

As long as she understood what being a Mormon truly was warts and all and chose to stay that would be up to her. I just wouldn't her to be a blind follower

[Raylan Givens]

So question still remains especially for my 13 year old how far do I take her down the rabbit hole?

Sooner than later. My uncle and his family (including their 15 year old daughter) just came out. She will probably be sad, and then later relieved, or I may be completely wrong she may want to double down. What would you want to do at that point?

I wouldn't go too deep, she probably doesn't know anything about the details- it might go over her head, or she might feel it applies to all religion. Stick with what you think and feel, that is real.

Good luck at Centerpoint. I live in SL county, so never gave them a look.