Canceling on the missionaries: ahead of time or last second?

[Perfigliano]

I think I signed up for next week for some reason. I probably felt obligated or thought I would last longer. Frankly, I don't want to interact with the church right now.

I want to cancel early so that someone else can feed them. I know I would have wanted that in their position. But it would be so much easier to do at the last second, when they confirm the appointment.

If I cancel early, I want to do it in a way where it provokes no further questions, but doesn't "out" me as an apostate. I'm not ready to come out publicly. I feel like that would be easier to pull off at the last second because I could just say "Something came up. Sorry. I can't feed you tonight" on the day of. Problem with that is that I don't remember which day it was so I can't pre-empt.

Suggestions?

[Reuben]

I vote for kindness and persistent, passive boundary defense. "Something came up" (which is technically true) works just as well early as it does late. If they press you in person, tell them it's nothing they can help you with. If they press you in writing, post here to ask Red Ryder for a good explanation.

[didyoumythme]

Just contact them now and say it won’t work, but you could always bring them food or give them a gift card to go eat somewhere themselves.

[Archimedes]

Don't cancel!!!

Keep the appointment, and answer the doorbell naked with a martini in one hand!

[Bremguy]

Just contact them now and say it won’t work, but you could always bring them food or give them a gift card to go eat somewhere themselves.

This is how I would go. Just order them a bunch of pizza's, and have delivered to their apartment. A gift card to an establishment in your area would be a great idea too. Sort of a treat for them, get them out of a rut.

This is sort of a pet peeve of mine.. In our Ward, the missionaries want their meals at 4:00. Which is sort of a bad time for most everyone. Then they want the Missionaries out at 5:00 to tract or what not. I think it is a bad idea. Getting bothered during meal time. Also, where I live, we have had a sharp increase of tweekers and the like breaking into cars, sheds, garages. So a couple of guys walking around at night, well, the worst case scenario, some guy or gal, takes them as breaking in and kills one or both of them. Just a bad idea these days.

[Perfigliano]

Tracting in general is a bad idea. It's ineffective and damages the church's reputation. So what if a small percentage of success comes from it? It does more harm than good.

I texted them and canceled. The response was "No worries! How are you doing with everything? We haven't seen you in a little bit." It's obvious they've picked up on a pattern here and I don't know how to respond.

[IT_Veteran]

I would probably just tell them that things are okay, I’m working through some personal issues, but nothing you need assistance with.

Depends on how far out you are and whether your spouse is on board. I told my bishop I had decided to leave and didn’t want to be rescued or have contact from the missionaries, ward or stake leaders, or other priesthood authorities.

He told my wife they wouldn’t excommunicate me just because I don’t believe, and that’s all I’ve heard of it.

That may change if somebody reports me to the SCMC or something, but so far he’s respected that. He actually never even responded to the email, he just asked my wife a few questions because she had set an appt with him to discuss it.

[Perfigliano]

Well considering that I'm single, that's a non-issue.

[IT_Veteran]

Well considering that I'm single, that's a non-issue.

Sorry for the assumption, I have trouble keeping people’s circumstances here sometimes.

[2bizE]

Cancel early. It is what you would want from someone else.

[Perfigliano]

Well considering that I'm single, that's a non-issue.

Sorry for the assumption, I have trouble keeping people’s circumstances here sometimes.

It's all good. It's not the first time someone assumed I was married.