This post is specifically for Graey and Slavereeno or anyone else that can relate to Graey's comment below.
Guys, I was once in your shoes. Background, I would get up in the mornings and get dressed for work before the wife was up and skip wearing the G's. Then I would get home and quickly change into work out clothes (and subsequently not workout). I did this for a few weeks and she noticed the white load of laundry was light so I started tossing clean G's into the laundry. Then schedules changed so that she was getting up with me.Graey wrote:I feel the same as you when people mention having a TBM spouse, but then go on to describe how that spouse is totally cool (or at least indignantly accepting) of things like getting rid of garments, paying tithing on net or increase, or occasionally dropping WoW requirements. My own spouse would go ballistic; world war 3 would commence, and I might just lose my family in the process.
Sometimes I would take clothes to the laundry room and get dressed there. Other times I would try to time it right but revert to putting G's on. It's nearly impossible to hide underwear from a spouse and this was causing me severe anxiety. First, because my brain could no longer convince my legs to step into the polyester mesh bottoms. Second, because most Mormons (perhaps TBM women even more so) tend to associate wearing garments with marriage fidelity.
When you stop wearing temple garments there's a high chance she thinks your cheating! This is a huge dilemma that doesn't always end well if you suddenly go cold turkey. You have to poison the well slowly. Dilute the indoctrination over time. Deliver yourself from the garment shackles of shame!
Here's an effective strategy for getting out of your garments. This strategy is intended for the men of NOM but with a few tweaks can be just as effective for the ladies too. Just substitute vajayjay for balls and yeast infection for rash. You get the point.
1. Start scratching your balls. A lot. Then question if the polyester and sweat mixture is to blame.
2. Keep scratching your balls. Like all the time. Ask her to buy you some Lotrimin cream next time she goes grocery shopping or when your at Wal Green's on the way home from your Friday night date. Apply daily. Keep scratching and talking about your new rash that "just won't go away"!
3. In frustration, decide to wear normal underwear for "a day or two" to see what happens. Make sure this underwear is white. Tighty whitey's are ok but I highly suggest going out and buying some boxer briefs. On day 1, continue to scratch but maybe half the time. On day 2, don't scratch at all. Comment a few times that your rash seems to be getting better. Let your spouse know you plan to continue your "experiment" for another day or two for healing purposes. Continue to apply the Lotrimin aggressively so that you eventually use the whole tube over a 7 day period.
4. Continue for 4 more days wearing normal underwear. Reduce scratching down to nothing and continue on your happy man ways. During the moments you're getting ready for bed, stand in the mirror in your new found underwear and proudly extend your hips slightly forward so that your priesthood antenna is packaged just right for her to notice while she brushes her teeth.
5. On day 7 put the G's back on.
6. Day 8-9 start the scratching routine all over again. Make yourself absolutely miserable. Wake her up a few times in the middle of the night with your scratching noises. Be VERY careful so that you don't wake her up and she thinks your masturbating. If that happens, see Strategy #10: How to not get caught masturbating and what to do if you do.
7. Day 10 (in frustration) suggest buying new laundry detergent. Drag her to Costco and spend $100 on 5 different laundry detergents that you know she will hate the smell of. As you head to the register, pass the underwear isle and grab a 10 pack of your favorite color. Most men who implement this strategy choose black. Also grab a another large size tube of Lotrimin. Put the black underwear in your dresser drawer as soon as you get home. You will save it for later, trust the process.
8. Day 11, switch back to the normal underwear. Apply the Lotromin. Reduce the scratching. Focus on healing. Wash your polyester mesh garments using the new detergent. The most effective method is to wash only one pair in a large load, doubling the detergent, on hot. This will drive her crazy due to the inefficient load.
9. Day 12 - 14, continue to wear the normal underwear. Walk with swagger! Smile all the time. Whistle while you help her do the dishes. Make love as often as possible.
10. Day 15, switch back to the G's. Be miserable. Scratch your balls a lot. Complain. Complain. Complain. At this point she will suggest you go see a Doctor. Begrudgingly make an appointment.
11: Day 16, see the Doctor. Tell him you have a rash. He will suggest you wear loose boxers and send you home with a tube of Lotrimin. Return home and report that you have been ordered by the doctor to wear loose boxer shorts indefinitely.
