Reflections on the past three years

[TheRunningmom]

Three years ago we quit attending the Mormon church. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. We knew our decision would hurt our families. We knew it meant our social circle would be dramatically reduced. We knew we had to do it. Sundays were too hard. I was coming home emotionally drained every week trying not to show pain at the things that were being said about those different from us.

It took about two years before I felt that I had finally decompressed from our activity during my faith transition (or whatever you want to call it). At first, everything hurt. We were hiding our inactivity from our families. I couldn't get enough talking/reading/raging about the church. I wanted to know E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. The more I learned, the more hurt I felt. Then angry. Then sad that the church couldn't be what I needed it to be. Eventually the hurt and anger faded. The church still did stupid things that were upsetting but it didn't consume me like it used to.

I had to become stronger to deal with the frequent lovebombing. I learned it was okay to say no and not feel bad about it. I learned how to stand up for myself kindly and firmly. I learned that sometimes church friends are friends until you go away. Out of sight, out of mind. There are still a few who don't care about differences in beliefs. Those are the ones to keep.

Now: I still have some hang ups. No shorts shorter than the knee, no tanks, no alcohol. I did try a cappuccino a couple of weeks ago and enjoyed it. It was the first coffee drink I'd tried that didn't remind me of burnt dirt.

We are happier on the other side. It took a long time to get here but it was worth it. It was so, so hard in the beginning and I wondered if we were making a mistake. I wanted to run back to make the new pain go away. The new pain didn't last as long as the old pain did, I just had to make it through the initial shock.

For us, the right decision was to step away. We still love and support our family and friends who love the church. I wish sometimes that they could see what we see and maybe someday they will. We will be here for them if/when they do.

[Liberated Me]

Love that you shared this! I recommend a peppermint mocha for you to try next. Today I had my peppermint tea bag steeping in my coffee cup with cream, loved it!
Wishing you continued joy!

[2bizE]

Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. It is so nice to hear from those who have made it to the other side and are doing so well.

[Anon70]

Thanks for this. It made me feel hopeful about my future today.