Toddler Elohim

[Hagoth]

Something I started to say on another thread was going off topic, and it cracked me up, so I thought I'd start a new thread.

I was talking about how about half of the people who have ever lived on this planet were before the advent of modern medicine and died at birth or in early childhood. According to Mormon doctrine they will be exalted without the need of saving ordinances, and according the the King Follett discourse, they will be gods while remaining babies and toddlers for eternity.

Imagine if Elohim were one of those. We know Jesus grew to adulthood, so what Joseph would have seen in the grove would have been a grown man floating in the air with a hovering baby bobbing next to him. The baby would have waved his chubby little hand toward the man and said in a sweet little voice, "Dis is my bewobed son. Heaw him."

Then he would have gone home to his celestial harem of women, girls, and babies to get back to the business of gettin' busy to populate some more worlds (aka God's work and glory).

[Corsair]

the King Follet Discourse is in a similarly sticky position as D&C 132 and the entire Book of Abraham. They all contain enough troubling elements that many knowledgeable leaders would prefer that they simply disappear from discourse. But each contains a number of essential doctrines needed as a foundational reason for the existence of the LDS church.

King Follet Discourse

• Discussions of exaltation, eternal progression, and becoming gods!
• However, "infants on thrones"

Book of Abraham

• Pre-mortal existence, foreordination, Great Council in Heaven before Creation!
• However, institutional racism, anachronisms, evidence of simply being a 19th century production, evidence of entirely incorrect translation at best

D&C 132

• Justification of plural marriage for early church leaders!
• However, Justification of plural marriage for early church leaders

Clearly, D&C 132 is a problem. The bigger problem is that so much of LDS doctrine, history, and culture contains very disturbing implications. Toddler gods is just one of the funnier ones. I eagerly await "Studio C" doing a hilarious sketch about this.

[el-asherah]

This. Absolutely. Explains. Everything!!!!

I have 2 year old toddler boy, come to think of it, his behavior is almost exactly like Elohim (esp in the Old Testament). God may well be a two year old toddler?

You Can't Make This Stuff Up! Infants on Thrones. My mormon crazy meter is pegged.

[moksha]

Way to go Hagoth!

[RubinHighlander]

"Dis is my bewobed son. Heaw him."

OMG! LMFAO on that visual!

[RubinHighlander]

Way to go Hagoth!

Way to go penguin on finding that creepy awesome StarTrek nugget!