Konfession Time

[Kishkumen]

Konfession:
I gave a blessing to a home teachee yesterday using unconsecrated oil. I just got it out of the main kitchen stock a few minutes beforehand.

If you stop and think about it for one second, consecrated oil blessings are one of the weirdest, silliest things in the church. Who checks whether it is consecrated? At what point and how is this property checked? Supposing the checker finds out the oil isn't consecrated, what happens then? Is the blessing null and void? Or does whatever otherworldly being responsible for checking have to hastily consecrate the oil himself before he can allow the blessing to go through?

Nobody involved in the blessing yesterday sensed that the oil wasn't up to the job, and I suspect the patient will nevertheless recover from her nasty head cold in the next few days.

Well... To begin with, the non-magical oil that you slipped in was ENTIRELY too fresh to actually be consecrated. 98.23% of all consecrated oil is "consecrated", then poured into a tiny metal vial, then carried around in some dude's pocket for years until it's completely rancid, then it gets poured on the victim's head.

Once upon a belief, the whole concept of consecrated oil created a large weight on my shelf. We had an EQ lesson about ordinances, etc. For whatever reason, most of it was spent discussing priesthood blessings and anointings. We spent a bit of time discussing the need to consecrate the oil ahead of time, and then how a proper priesthood holder would keep his little vial with him at all times so he could be ready lubricate someone's head at any time. I was somewhat surprised, several guys didn't already have a little vial the instructor gave everyone a little pre-filled plastic dripper little pin hole opening and a lid. Then, because I was super important to say the incantation and properly consecrate it, he carefully reviewed this prayer. Then instructed everyone to find a little corner of the gym (because that's our special room) and consecrate the oil by whispering a few words, trying to be discrete in a large echo room.

I was good, I already had my oil blessed and ready-to-go. But I looked around and 5-8 guys facing a corner, attempting some sort of privacy, and saying their little prayers while holding this little bottle with both hands near their chest. Even as a TBM I thought it was a bizarre image. I remember telling my wife about it after church how I just couldn't do it and how strange the whole scenario was. I could imagine a god not willing to help someone out because Bro Stevens didn't do some strange prayer that no one else could hear in the corner of a gym.

[Spicy McHaggis]

Konfession:
I gave a blessing to a home teachee yesterday using unconsecrated oil. I just got it out of the main kitchen stock a few minutes beforehand.

If you stop and think about it for one second, consecrated oil blessings are one of the weirdest, silliest things in the church. Who checks whether it is consecrated? At what point and how is this property checked? Supposing the checker finds out the oil isn't consecrated, what happens then? Is the blessing null and void? Or does whatever otherworldly being responsible for checking have to hastily consecrate the oil himself before he can allow the blessing to go through?

Nobody involved in the blessing yesterday sensed that the oil wasn't up to the job, and I suspect the patient will nevertheless recover from her nasty head cold in the next few days.

Well... To begin with, the non-magical oil that you slipped in was ENTIRELY too fresh to actually be consecrated. 98.23% of all consecrated oil is "consecrated", then poured into a tiny metal vial, then carried around in some dude's pocket for years until it's completely rancid, then it gets poured on the victim's head.

Once upon a belief, the whole concept of consecrated oil created a large weight on my shelf. We had an EQ lesson about ordinances, etc. For whatever reason, most of it was spent discussing priesthood blessings and anointings. We spent a bit of time discussing the need to consecrate the oil ahead of time, and then how a proper priesthood holder would keep his little vial with him at all times so he could be ready lubricate someone's head at any time. I was somewhat surprised, several guys didn't already have a little vial the instructor gave everyone a little pre-filled plastic dripper little pin hole opening and a lid. Then, because I was super important to say the incantation and properly consecrate it, he carefully reviewed this prayer. Then instructed everyone to find a little corner of the gym (because that's our special room) and consecrate the oil by whispering a few words, trying to be discrete in a large echo room.

I was good, I already had my oil blessed and ready-to-go. But I looked around and 5-8 guys facing a corner, attempting some sort of privacy, and saying their little prayers while holding this little bottle with both hands near their chest. Even as a TBM I thought it was a bizarre image. I remember telling my wife about it after church how I just couldn't do it and how strange the whole scenario was. I could imagine a god not willing to help someone out because Bro Stevens didn't do some strange prayer that no one else could hear in the corner of a gym.

Not my Konfession, but a fellow ex-mo I know used KY Jelly when his TBM mother-in-law insisted he give her a blessing. She knew he wasn't a believer but insisted he give her the blessing, to kick against the pricks he used KY Jelly instead of oil.

Turns out KY Jelly has the same healing properties of consecrated oil as the woman has made a full recovery.

[Random]

FYI
Costco currently has some thermal underclothing that is great. The brand is 32 Degree Heat. It's like $7 for bottoms and $8 for tops. Maybe not as cheap as garments, but not far off. Mrs Misbehaved seems to really like them and even I like them. They have kids sizes well for the whole family.

And they're black, which is much better.

Hey, thanks, Kish! (thumbs_up) Good to know. I can handle that cost. I may go over there pretty soon and check them out.

[deacon blues]

I remember being terrified of Satan. Now Satan is the most hilariously comical figure I can imagine.

The devil at General Conference. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1XjlrSKBCo

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

I remember being terrified of Satan. Now Satan is the most hilariously comical figure I can imagine.

The devil at General Conference. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1XjlrSKBCo

Ah man, I was hoping it would be Michael Ballam.

[Silver Girl]

I think I arrived late to this party, but here goes:

I confess I joined Reddit and began swearing profusely (for me, anyway). And I am good at it. And I enjoy it.

I have a different username there, so I can confuse the COB spies.

[Josephsmith]

Sometimes, when the Holy Ghost is invited for a threesome, he lets me tag along. I feel a little guilty knowing I am a 4th wheel, but I get over it.

[Random]

FYI
Costco currently has some thermal underclothing that is great. The brand is 32 Degree Heat. It's like $7 for bottoms and $8 for tops. Maybe not as cheap as garments, but not far off. Mrs Misbehaved seems to really like them and even I like them. They have kids sizes well for the whole family.

And they're black, which is much better.

I couldn't find any at Costco (maybe because I live in southern Utah and they don't sell them here; maybe I didn't look in the right place), but I did go to Walmart today and found some on sale for $1 a piece (yes, one dollar). Most of the sizes were way too big, but I did find two tops and two bottoms that sufficed. One of my kids was with me and got a top. It was hilarious when we checked out. All of mine said LDS in front of the rest of the description. One even said LDS Thermals. My child's top did not say that. I find it hilarious because I bought them to replace the real LDS thermals that I'm now going to toss out. (Tops are gray, bottoms are black.)

[Reuben]

Today, I chatted with a couple of sister missionaries at mormon.org. I posed as a gay man who wants what a Mormon friend of his has: a marriage that lasts forever. He's a golden investigator aside from being gay. Well, that, and his partner was raised JW and was disfellowshipped (i.e. exed) and shunned for being gay, and hates religion because of it. Favorite line: "he's napping next to me right now god i love how he smells."

One sister gave me a link I can use to chat with them again. I can't wait until he discovers the November 5th policy. This will be fun.

[IT_Veteran]

Konfession: I really enjoy South Park again. I quit watching it after my last deployment in 2007. I’ve reecntly rediscovered the biting, mostly accurate, humor of it.

Also, I like that alcohol completely numbs the physical pain I have from some nerve problems. It’s gone and I don’t have to rely on prescription painkillers to get there.

[Reuben]

Also, I like that alcohol completely numbs the physical pain I have from some nerve problems. It’s gone and I don’t have to rely on prescription painkillers to get there.

I'm curious about this because I have rheumatoid arthritis. If you don't mind my asking, what kind of nerve problems do you have?

[IT_Veteran]

Sciatica. I had back surgery a few years ago and that did pretty well, but it has started to come back. Even if I only have one or two drinks, the pain is either actually gone or I just don’t notice it anymore.

To be clear though, it’s not severe anyway, hurts enough to cause discomfort but ibuprofen doesn’t do anything for it.

[Mad Jax]

I wore a do rag in the 90s.
I can't drink half a light beer without puking.
When I got bullied as a kid, my sister had to stick up for me.
One of my tattoos is terrible.
When I was still a TBM, I shredded my book of remembrance. I hated doing it, I thought it was a stupid commandment, and it felt good to destroy it. I reveled in never writing in it any longer.

[No Tof]

true confession:

Went for a few drinks right after interview with the BP yesterday.

Worse confession: Realize what a lightweight I am in that arena. One "old fashioned", one Monte Cristo, and one gin and tonic and I didn't dare drive home. Woke up with what I imagine is my first "sort of" hangover. Pathetic.

[redjay]

Had my first coffee in my own house today, when everyone was out (I was working from home earlier in the day).

Had meant to undertake to cover up my sins, and hide the coffee tin.

I washed the cup and teaspoon.

I left the coffee tin in a prominent place on the kitchen side, so I would not forget to seclude it.

I left the coffee tin in a prominent place on the kitchen side, I forgot to seclude it - Mrs RJ and Little RJ's got home before me (I went into work later on)

I remembered an hour before leaving work about the coffee tin.

Had a slightly awkward conversation upon arriving home.

TLDR: I'm too stupid to do anything, ever, and not get caught.

[Kishkumen]

Ultra TBM BiL and SiL came to stay with us for a few nights. I openly drank beer in my own house, made coffee with my breakfast and ordered a margarita when we all went for dinner.

My kids told their cousins not to take Uncle Kishkumen's cup because it's just for grown-ups. They're learning!

[redjay]

My kids told their cousins not to take Uncle Kishkumen's cup because it's just for grown-ups. They're learning!

mrs RJ has agreed in principle with me having beer in the house, but I'm still to chicken, lest I'm left in the lounge with a bottle of bud, while she retires to the bedroom crying into her pillow.

[IT_Veteran]

My kids told their cousins not to take Uncle Kishkumen's cup because it's just for grown-ups. They're learning!

mrs RJ has agreed in principle with me having beer in the house, but I'm still to chicken, lest I'm left in the lounge with a bottle of bud, while she retires to the bedroom crying into her pillow.

My DW doesn’t want it in the house at all, but deals relatively well with me drinking outside the house. The kids are just starting to get used to the idea of me drinking coffee, so alcohol only happens when we are out together without kids.

[græy]

I know this is an old thread, but yesterday was Fast Sunday in our stake. Since I was traveling home alone after church, I stopped at McDs for a breakfast muffin on my way.

Extremely mild, I know. But it was delicious!

[Newme]

I have booze stashed in the kitchen. My husband, though an antimo, doesn't drink and disapproves of it. Whenever he finds a bottle of something and comments on it, I say it's for cooking. Yeah, I cook with Mike's harder lemonade. He still has no clue that I drink.

I remember my dad being (only slightly) self conscious as he bought wine for marinating and we saw a member at the store.

When I was a teen, I’d stay over at my friend’s and her parents realized someone was drinking from their bar and so they marked where it was each time they had some. We just replaced Vodka we drank with water. I’m glad i got most of my wildies out of my system back then. Recently, I felt obligated to confess I drank with my sister when we vacationed together - but reiterated “but I wouldn’t ever drink and parent” to make myself look better (don’t think it worked).