"Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Linked
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"Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by Linked »

My 6 year old son is going through his phase of liking boys and boy stuff and not liking girls or girl stuff. It seems to mostly be peer pressure because he loves My Little Pony, but he won't tell his friends and gets mad at us if we bring it up in public. Yesterday we were walking to church and right as we got to the door he asked me, "Boys don't HAVE to marry girls, right?"

We did a u-turn so I could answer his question without all the ward members into the conversation. I told him lots of people don't get married at all, but he made it clear that's not what he was talking about without quite saying he hoped he could marry a boy instead of a girl. I told him that most boys like to marry girls and most girls like to marry boys, but some boys like to marry boys and some girls like to marry girls, and that's ok. And that here in the US you can marry whoever you want.

Then we went to church.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut
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achilles
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by achilles »

So he's a brony, is he. That's OK. I played with my sister's ponies as well as my Star Wars toys. Toys are toys, and imagination is imagination.
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”

― Carl Sagan
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Hagoth
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by Hagoth »

I remember announcing to my mom when I was about 6 that my best friend Charles and I had decided that we were going to get married. I didn't understand the stunned look on her face at the time. (spoiler: we didn't)
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."
Reuben
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by Reuben »

Linked wrote: Mon Feb 26, 2018 2:33 pm I told him that most boys like to marry girls and most girls like to marry boys, but some boys like to marry boys and some girls like to marry girls, and that's ok. And that here in the US you can marry whoever you want.
You get a parenting gold star sticker today!

FWIW, according to a couple of studies I found early this year, about 35-40% of boys who persistently like girly things turn out to be gay - and that's ok. :D

Also, I'm a 40-year-old straight man and I love me some MLP. I watch it with my girls. The writing, voice acting, and production values are consistently amazing. My fave is a toss-up between Celestia and Pinkie Pie.
Learn to doubt the stories you tell about yourselves and your adversaries.
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MoPag
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by MoPag »

That's awesome Linked!!

Way to go!!!
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...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound
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Linked
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by Linked »

achilles wrote: Mon Feb 26, 2018 4:22 pm So he's a brony, is he. That's OK. I played with my sister's ponies as well as my Star Wars toys. Toys are toys, and imagination is imagination.
Yeah, I am fine with his love of my little pony. He can like what he likes. He just can't watch the stupid ads on game apps...
Reuben wrote: Mon Feb 26, 2018 8:46 pm
Linked wrote: Mon Feb 26, 2018 2:33 pm I told him that most boys like to marry girls and most girls like to marry boys, but some boys like to marry boys and some girls like to marry girls, and that's ok. And that here in the US you can marry whoever you want.
You get a parenting gold star sticker today!

FWIW, according to a couple of studies I found early this year, about 35-40% of boys who persistently like girly things turn out to be gay - and that's ok. :D

Also, I'm a 40-year-old straight man and I love me some MLP. I watch it with my girls. The writing, voice acting, and production values are consistently amazing. My fave is a toss-up between Celestia and Pinkie Pie.
Aw, thanks. We'll see if he is gay, so far I don't see it, but whatever. Pinkie Pie is my favorite. I made a Pinkie Pie out of perler beads for my 3 year old.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut
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achilles
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by achilles »

Unfortunately, Linked, if you are not careful, he will learn the lesson the Church teaches about two boys or two girls who marry: they are vile apostates, and not even their children are "safe" enough to allowed "saving" ordinances.
“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”

― Carl Sagan
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Linked
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by Linked »

achilles wrote: Tue Feb 27, 2018 2:59 pm Unfortunately, Linked, if you are not careful, he will learn the lesson the Church teaches about two boys or two girls who marry: they are vile apostates, and not even their children are "safe" enough to allowed "saving" ordinances.
This is a concern I grapple with every week. Unfortunately I am not in a good position to force the issue of my kids' church attendance with DW right now. The feeling when my kid gives the "right" answer in sharing time and looks to me for validation that he is a good boy because he is getting indoctrinated right is awful. I smile and nod to him because he is a good boy, but I try to combat the teachings with lessons in critical thinking and encouraging him to explore whether or not he thinks things make sense or are fair.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut
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Brent
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by Brent »

First take some solace in knowing Generation Z doesn't really care who you love. In my classroom at the local high school I have a surprising number of openly gay students. Some are LDS but more importantly the LDS kids just don't care.

Boomers like myself seem to care, Millennials don't and Z cares even less. I remember watching my son walk down the hallway and thinking, man is he Gay.... he came out after the Pulse nightclub shooting but still hides it from his Temple Worker Grandmother. Who, I assume, is waiting for him to meet the right girl.

Regardless of his sexuality he is still your child. God entrusted him to you. Some are born straight and some are born gay but not loving who they as they are isn't an option.
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Hagoth
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by Hagoth »

Is it just me, or is mutual agreement about who we should hate one of the major features of a religion?
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."
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Brent
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by Brent »

Hagoth wrote: Wed Feb 28, 2018 12:15 pm Is it just me, or is mutual agreement about who we should hate one of the major features of a religion?
what's life without Them, Those Others, and Not Us?
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Linked
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by Linked »

Hagoth wrote: Wed Feb 28, 2018 12:15 pm Is it just me, or is mutual agreement about who we should hate one of the major features of a religion?
I would say in-group/out-group behavior is a major feature of humanity. Religion is perhaps the most successful type of group, but it is certainly not the only type to bring out trust for those in your group and hatred of those that stand against it. So I guess I'm trying to say religion is a feature of the human need for mutual agreement, not the other way around.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut
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Hagoth
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Re: "Boys Don't HAVE to Marry Girls, Right?"

Post by Hagoth »

Linked wrote: Thu Mar 01, 2018 1:08 pmSo I guess I'm trying to say religion is a feature of the human need for mutual agreement, not the other way around.
All in favor please manifest by the usual sign.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."
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