NOMlandia Proverbs

[RubinHighlander]

I saw this pic on IG last week of a door with a sign on it that said:
"OLD KEYS DON'T OPEN NEW DOORS"

It reminded me of the NT proverb about sewing old cloth onto a new garment or putting new wine into old bottles. It also struck me as something that works against the way the COB operates and the whole "keys of the priesthood" bs. There are no keys, just like there's no new revelation. Claims to have ownership over ancient keys, as we know from the historical evolution of the priesthood, are bogus. Magical keys to the last dispensation of time are not talked about much anymore. They are fading into the sunset along with all other things of a spectacular nature, like the last days, miracles, adam-ondi-ahman, etc.

Proverbs are a funny thing because they can be twisted or used to make a point about anything. Just like old cloth patches on a new coat, why put old men in charge of a new world religion? Jesus didn't go into all the villages and tell all the old men to follow him, he found young progressives to spread the radical new teachings. I guess JS didn't start that way either, but the evolution of the COB is akin to our government; it's about job preservation for old guys, making a living off the hard working TBMs.

So enough about that, let's come up with some kick butt new parables for NOMlandia. We could even use the old KJV english. Maybe they can have a first world problems flair.

"Thou shalt not put old hamsters onto new wheels, nor shalt thou put new hamsters onto old wheels, lest the old wheel or hamster become weak and be cast out to be trodden under by the feet of old men."

"First park thine own boat not upon the street on the Sabbath day before telling thine neighbor to park his boat not upon the street."

Eh...maybe this was actually kind of a stupid idea.

[LSOF]

Vulg: fides non excusat (KJV: "Faith excuseth not"; NIV: "Faith is no excuse").

[Mad Jax]

Well if we're spouting modern wisdom...

You are whatchoo iz, and that's all there iz,
You iz whatchoo am, a cow don't make ham

One from Warhammer 40,000 (my geekery has no limits)

"An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded"

[deacon blues]

Thanks for the humor, and the Wisdom.

[crossmyheart]

you said kick butt- and this is the first thing that came to mind...

"I came here to kick a$$ and chew bubblegum. And I am all out of bubblegum!"

[alas]

One of the really good NOM proverbs is about how the stuff that is good in Mormonism is not unique and the stuff that is unique is not good. So:

Behold, the Good in ye old Mormon Church lacketh Uniqueness, While the Unique lacketh goodness.

[Reuben]

The gospel of the ideal path is a gospel of checklists and acceptable losses.

Being a good Mormon doesn't imply that you're a good person.

[2bizE]

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes, a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

J.R.R. Tolkien

[oliver_denom]

The NOM does not sell everything to obtain a pearl of great price, but slowly saves, and when the time is right, adds the pearl to what they've already gained.

[moksha]

"God forgives, but the Priesthood only forgives if you jump through their hoops."

"Honey, the tithing settlement placed a lien on our firstborn."

"The tithing must flow."
-- proverb from the Brethren's Guild

[NOMinally Mormon]

Go slow.

[moksha]

"A restoration of all things, including the Temple, Sanhedrin, Pharisees, and Stake Presidencies."

[moksha]

[slavereeno]

So true though...

[moksha]

"There is nothing better than a friend unless it is a friend with chocolate."
—Charles Dickens

[Corsair]

When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either cease to be mistaken or cease to be honest.
-Anonymous