Goodbye

[Emower]

I want to type up a little goodbye to folks here.
I don't really know what to say. Thank you for being here when I needed it most. I will never forget being able to interact with you all during the most agonizing time of watching myself lose faith. It was terrifying, and you all helped me through. Just knowing that I was not the only one.
I moved to phoenix and met some of you at a brewery. I walked in, didn't know who I was looking for, and then saw a group of guys who just looked like Mormons, even though they had a dark cloud of apostasy over their heads. It was a wonderful, validating experience. I appreciate that night, and the times since. Thank you all for helping me see past my pigeonhole of mormonism.

I have really tapered off in my participation here. I am doing other things, and I pop back in to try and revive my posting, but I am flat out not interested in most of the conversation anymore. The church is not what it says it is, its not remotely true. At the end of the day, what more is there to say? We can hash out what that means for life, and it feels terrible when your family is wrapped up in it. My life experience dictates that it can be less important to me. Less important as I try to extract from it, and less important when I cannot. Whether you believe there is some good, or it is all bad, I am settling in to my own opinion of it. I am not tired of anyone, I have not regained my faith, I have just moved beyond needing to vent, which is primarily what this space is.

Thanks for being there for me when I needed it most.

My wife is pretty nomish these days. We are slowly coming along in a better understanding of what each wants out of life. It is usually not far off. I am grateful for that. I have the flexibility to do what I want, and I continue support of what she wants. It is not without conflict, but good communication gets us through.
The things that we married each other for are still unchanged by either of our faith crises. It helps to focus on life goals and try, at least on my part, to separate the church from that. If the church can support some of those goals, fine. I can let it if my wife needs it to. If it hinders or doesn't support it then we have some things to discuss. At least the minefield of touchy subjects is cleared a little bit.

I don't have much in the way of advice. If you are here reading this, you are probably in a negative place in your life. Red Ryder once asked me what my exit strategy was. "You don't want to be here 14 years later" he said. Figure out what your exit strategy is to a better place in life. Mine involves talking things out with my wife. Yours may be different, but figure it out. Life is too short to spend any significant time on a forum b!tchin about the church for very long. Please don't get me wrong, I love this place, but for me it is time to move on.

Thanks for being there for me. I don't say that lightly. Friend me on Facebook if you want to get together some time. You can have a beer, I will stick to a diet coke...
Ethan Mower.

[Hagoth]

Ethan,

Congratulations on your graduation! It has been great getting to know you.

Please stop by and catch up with us when you're in (virtual) town.

[Red Ryder]

I don't have much in the way of advice. If you are here reading this, you are probably in a negative place in your life. Red Ryder once asked me what my exit strategy was. "You don't want to be here 14 years later" he said. Figure out what your exit strategy is to a better place in life. Mine involves talking things out with my wife. Yours may be different, but figure it out. Life is too short to spend any significant time on a forum b!tchin about the church for very long. Please don't get me wrong, I love this place, but for me it is time to move on.

Thanks for reminding me how pathetic my disaffection has been. It’s been 14 years of mental absence as a Chapel Mormon and 14 years of solid internet Mormonism. I guess that still makes me Mormon. In the end, I’m sure there’s been an opportunity cost somewhere in terms of something better to do but I have to say meeting some of you apostate bastards in real life has been one of the best side effects! The real credit should go to Corsair though as he’s often said it better; “what do you want to do with your life? Figure it out and go do that! Become indifferent to the church....”

God bless!

[deacon blues]

I want to say thanks for your posts. The ones on the Laura Hales book were especially helpful to me. Best wishes in all you do.

[Corsair]

This sounds like the right move for you. You are always welcome back and I expect we will get lunch on an irregular basis.

[GoodBoy]

See you Ethan. Thanks for your contributions to the conversation!

[No Tof]

I can relate to much of what you have said in your post and find my connection here to be less important as I move forward. I think that is probably the idea of this place. Thank goddess for folks like RR and Corsair for keeping the candle burning for us.

Due to distance, it's unlikely for me to be able to go to lunch with y'all but I agree with you Ethan, real live interaction and this site has been a lifesaver during the harsh night of despair when it seemed like I was the only one.

I wish you the best as you continue your journey. Frankly I hope you never feel the need to come back here, that you are so full of joy in your own endeavours that you don't have time, but if I see your posts they will be welcome. Always nice to hear another chapter of the story.

Cheers

[MerrieMiss]

I'm sorry to see you go, but happy for you as well. I hope you keep us updated from time to time.I particularly want to know how things go for you because our oldest kids are about the same age.

I appreciated many of your posts. One that stands out to me is your response to a homeschooling question of mine. I really appreciate the time and effort you took to answer my question. Thank you so much, and I hope the best of everything for you as you move forward.

[MoPag]

Hugs EMower!!!! And hugs to DMower too!

Hugs4Mowers.png (164.12 KiB) Viewed 4539 times

Thanks for being here and being awesome!
And if you are ever stuck at a TBM relative's house during General Conference you can always log on here for General NOMfrence.

[Deepthinker]

Sorry to see you go, but also happy you are at the point where you no longer need the support of NOM. All the best to you!

[Mormorrisey]

I really appreciated your posts, so selfishly I hope you stick around in some form. But I understand the need to move on. I don't post as much angst-ridden stuff as I used to, so hopefully I'm coming to a place where you are. Like cool people I've known in the past, hopefully we'll reconnect at some point, even internetedly. If that's even a word. Take care!

[MalcolmVillager]

Peace out brother! I rarely make it here either. Apathy. It's just pathetic

Still going through the motions on my end. My wife is coming along and some days I feel if i pushed hard we could be done. The famiky, comminity, and wkrk all make a hard and abrupt break difficult to justify.

We are taking it slow. I know I can't become the Mormon my parents are or wish I woujld be. I want to open doors for my kids and let them choose.

Glad you are moving on. I will see you on FB and I will let you know if I get to Phoenix again.