What was / is your purpose in being part of the church?

[Hagoth]

There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?—To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can.” (Discourses of Brigham Young [Deseret Book Co., 1943], p. 197.)

So the only option besides Mormonism is wickedness, debauchery and crime. Either everyone but Mormons at the time was wicked (i.e. did not force children into marriage or prescribe decapitation for children of interracial marriages, etc.) or God deliberately punished the would-be children of Mormons by intentionally planting them in a life of wickedness, debauchery and crime. Nice.

[Reuben]

There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?—To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can.” (Discourses of Brigham Young [Deseret Book Co., 1943], p. 197.)

So the only option besides Mormonism is wickedness, debauchery and crime. Either everyone but Mormons at the time was wicked (i.e. did not force children into marriage or prescribe decapitation for children of interracial marriages, etc.) or God deliberately punished the would-be children of Mormons by intentionally planting them in a life of wickedness, debauchery and crime. Nice.

Except for the parenthetical, you've basically transcribed my thoughts. Well, you know what they say about great minds: when two great minds think alike, one of them is unnecessary.

So I'll add that Brigham Young might have been shirking his duty. Having 56 children by 16 wives ends being only 3.5 mortal tabernacles per childbearing wife. That's shockingly low for the time.

[mooseman]

There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?—To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can.” (Discourses of Brigham Young [Deseret Book Co., 1943], p. 197.)

So the only option besides Mormonism is wickedness, debauchery and crime. Either everyone but Mormons at the time was wicked (i.e. did not force children into marriage or prescribe decapitation for children of interracial marriages, etc.) or God deliberately punished the would-be children of Mormons by intentionally planting them in a life of wickedness, debauchery and crime. Nice.

Except for the parenthetical, you've basically transcribed my thoughts. Well, you know what they say about great minds: when two great minds think alike, one of them is unnecessary.

So I'll add that Brigham Young might have been shirking his duty. Having 56 children by 16 wives ends being only 3.5 mortal tabernacles per childbearing wife. That's shockingly low for the time.

Reuben, you're looking at it wrong. Its a PRIESTHOOD charge to have as many offspring as possible. Sure, his wifes numbers were low, but how many men had 56 kids? Ultimately thats whats matters since its 56 kids looking to him with awe and reverence. After all, the gosepel is all about looking towards the Father and doing his will isnt it?
A righteous woman with 20 kids and no preisthood holder is just as damned as an unwed one.

Its surprising how little women matter when out theology is really anyalsied

[moksha]

Another deliberate snub of Antarctica on that map!

[deacon blues]

I hope my behavior convinces a few TBM's that heretics can be pretty nice guys.

[Hagoth]

Another deliberate snub of Antarctica on that map!

Maybe that's where exmos end up. What would be the appropriate color designation for misfit toys?

[NOMinally Mormon]

I was born into the church, though according to the map I should have been Roman Catholic. I'm actually thankful for participating in Primary and YW. School was an abusive hellhole for me, I belonged to the untouchable caste. At church, though, the kids were nice to me and included me. I wouldn't have had a social life otherwise. Some of the stuff I learned and internalized, however, was regrettable.

Up to that point the church was a net positive for me. I outgrew the church in college. After college I had an existential crisis and returned to church. It's a decision I still regret. I made a string of poor choices by following church counsel regarding women's proper roles and it has set me back for life. As I type this, I'm working at my second job, which I will have to continue until my retirement, if I don't want to live under a bridge when I'm 80.

[a1986]

I was born into the church, though according to the map I should have been Roman Catholic. I'm actually thankful for participating in Primary and YW. School was an abusive hellhole for me, I belonged to the untouchable caste. At church, though, the kids were nice to me and included me. I wouldn't have had a social life otherwise. Some of the stuff I learned and internalized, however, was regrettable.

Up to that point the church was a net positive for me. I outgrew the church in college. After college I had an existential crisis and returned to church. It's a decision I still regret. I made a string of poor choices by following church counsel regarding women's proper roles and it has set me back for life. As I type this, I'm working at my second job, which I will have to continue until my retirement, if I don't want to live under a bridge when I'm 80.

Where did you grow up? That's great you had a good experience in the church as a kid. I'm curious what made you decide to return to the church after college?

[NOMinally Mormon]

I grew up in South Texas. After college I moved far away from family and friends, broke up with my boyfriend and felt completely lost after college. I was lonely, probably depressed and wasn't even sure I wanted a career in the field I had just gotten a B.S. in. So I went back to church because that was the only thing familiar to me in my new surroundings. Getting married to a worthy priesthood holder assuaged the loneliness while simultaneously following the prophet. Looking back I should have just stuck it out, I probably would have felt better on my own eventually. Counseling would have been even better, but it didn't occur to me, and I didn't have any idea how to go about it when I was young.

[a1986]

I grew up in South Texas. After college I moved far away from family and friends, broke up with my boyfriend and felt completely lost after college. I was lonely, probably depressed and wasn't even sure I wanted a career in the field I had just gotten a B.S. in. So I went back to church because that was the only thing familiar to me in my new surroundings. Getting married to a worthy priesthood holder assuaged the loneliness while simultaneously following the prophet. Looking back I should have just stuck it out, I probably would have felt better on my own eventually. Counseling would have been even better, but it didn't occur to me, and I didn't have any idea how to go about it when I was young.

I think your story makes sense. A lot of people go to religion / the church for comfort during "hard times." I'm just now beginning counseling myself (after leaving the church). Are you doing any sort of counseling / therapy now?

[NOMinally Mormon]

No I'm not in counseling, all this happened many years ago and I've worked out a lot of stuff on my own. You're right about the church appealing to people going through hard times. There's no way I would have gone back otherwise. I just regret the lost decades, missed opportunities and problems brought on by 'following the prophet'. But now my kids are grown and I have a career finally. So I'm working on building the best life I can in the time I have left.

[Red Ryder]

No I'm not in counseling, all this happened many years ago and I've worked out a lot of stuff on my own. You're right about the church appealing to people going through hard times. There's no way I would have gone back otherwise. I just regret the lost decades, missed opportunities and problems brought on by 'following the prophet'. But now my kids are grown and I have a career finally. So I'm working on building the best life I can in the time I have left.

Are your kids still in the church? That would be difficult to raise kids in the church and then leave after they are adults. Especially if they now shun you.

[NOMinally Mormon]

I'm happy to report that they all left the church. They left before I did, which caused some family turmoil at the time. One kid left shortly before his Eagle board of review so the board, all mormon, flunked him. He appealed it and after a lot of drama he got his Eagle. But by leaving the church my kids loaded my shelf and helped get me out. My extended family is a mix of TBM, jackmo and nevermo so lots of tolerance there.