Russ Nelson announces

[lostinmiddlemormonism]

Press conference on Tuesday.

I'm going with: nothing really exciting but a way to get the membership buzzing.

[moksha]

Wonder if it could be:

1. Announcing his picks for First Presidency Counselors.

2. New handcart companies to help expel the infidels from Zion.

3. Announcing the formation of the PACLDS (political action committee of the LDS Church).

4. That the theory of evolution will no longer be taught at Church colleges and universities.

[wtfluff]

Boy, this is gonna be hard to predict, but I'm gonna try:

Russell F Nelson is going to announce: "I'm the new CEO/President of the multi-billion-dollar Corporattion - Sole, and these two, old, rich white guys are my 'counselors'."

The new CEO might also 'call' a couple more rich, old white guys to the board of directors of the Corporattion - Sole to replace the other old, rich white guys who died and left openings in the board of directors. If not, April it is for the two new rich, old white guys joining the free ride on the backs of tithe payers for the rest of the old, white guy's lives.

[nibbler]

I'm going with: nothing really exciting but a way to get the membership buzzing.

You stole mine. Members are now plastering it all over FB, mission accomplished. They'll tune in and it will be another meeting where the attendees already knew everything that was going to be said before anyone says anything.

[Reuben]

He'll defy expectations by ordering us all back to Jackson County, Missouri.

[wtfluff]

He'll defy expectations by ordering us all back to Jackson County, Missouri.

Haha! Oh man, I take back my earlier post. I want him to do this. It would be EPIC!

What are the rest of us going to do with all of those abandoned temples?

[Thoughtful]

IDK but he's already aggrandizing himself, posting a highlight reel on his FB page.

[oliver_denom]

He'll defy expectations by ordering us all back to Jackson County, Missouri.

Haha! Oh man, I take back my earlier post. I want him to do this. It would be EPIC!

What are the rest of us going to do with all of those abandoned temples?

Behold it is he, the "one mighty and strong", 93 year old Russ Nelson with the physical and cognitive abilities of a very old man, but the spiritual strength of a small pony.

[Hagoth]

Russell F Nelson

[sparky]

He'll defy expectations by ordering us all back to Jackson County, Missouri.

I honestly wish the corporate church would take a crazy turn like this, because DW would never go along with it. She's on the very edge of being a NOM and wouldn't give up normal life if the church really doubled down on some of its nuttier aspects. I think even something like Moksha's #4 (BYU stops teaching evolution) would be enough cover for her to be okay with me dropping out.

Please Russell, you keep insisting the millennium is right around the corner; now's the time to double down on the crazy!

[MerrieMiss]

He'll defy expectations by ordering us all back to Jackson County, Missouri.

I honestly wish the corporate church would take a crazy turn like this, because DW would never go along with it.

I've often wished this. If the church would just get on with it, bring back polygamy, united order, moving to Missouri...I think my husband would realize that a bunch of weirdos they are.

On the flip side, I have a TBM sibling who is very unhappy in the church, but sticks around because they don't want to miss out when the big announcement comes (move to Missouri, second coming, whatever). I always come away from visiting them and feeling a little sad they live in so much fear.

[MoPag]

IDK but he's already aggrandizing himself, posting a highlight reel on his FB page.

I'm following him on FB now! Too bad Aunt Wendy doesn't have a public figure FB page

Behold it is he, the "one mighty and strong", 93 year old Russ Nelson with the physical and cognitive abilities of a very old man, but the spiritual strength of a small pony.

[SeeNoEvil]

Yesterday while with a group of TBM family engaging in a lively discussion of Monson and Nelson I killed the conversation by saying,"I think it is a bit weird to call a press conference to announce yourself as the new prophet." Mic drop.... crickets. Now on to what's on TV................

[oliver_denom]

Yesterday while with a group of TBM family engaging in a lively discussion of Monson and Nelson I killed the conversation by saying,"I think it is a bit weird to call a press conference to announce yourself as the new prophet." Mic drop.... crickets. Now on to what's on TV................

Maybe it's because they aren't announcing a new prophet, but a new president. Although in keeping with the times, it would be more presidential if they tweeted it first.

[Corsair]

Yesterday while with a group of TBM family engaging in a lively discussion of Monson and Nelson I killed the conversation by saying,"I think it is a bit weird to call a press conference to announce yourself as the new prophet." Mic drop.... crickets. Now on to what's on TV................

Press conferences get called frequently by various organizations. 99.99% of the time I'm not interested unless it's from NASA. What would really be interesting is if GOD called the press conference and HE announced Nelson as the new prophet. That would settle the question and be actually interesting.

My guess is that Nelson will be announced as the newly ordained prophet and president of TCoJCoLDS along with Henry and Dieter retained in the usual counselor roles. If we are lucky then two two apostles might be announced. Random questions from the press will not be entertained, of course. When my "prophesy" comes true then I expect tithing from you heathens.

[slavereeno]

When my "prophesy" comes true then I expect tithing from you heathens.

[Corsair]

When my "prophesy" comes true then I expect tithing from you heathens.

Bummer, no tithing for me. The last time a counselor was not retained was Hugh B. Brown back in the 60s. He was also considered a liberal, especially with his agitation for extending the priesthood to all men.

[slavereeno]

Bummer, no tithing for me. The last time a counselor was not retained was Hugh B. Brown back in the 60s. He was also considered a liberal, especially with his agitation for extending the priesthood to all men.

I dunno, from what I have seen, if we work the apologetics right we should still be able to score you some coin...

Corsair predicts next first presidency! He was absolutely correct about the retention of Eyering, this proves he is a prophet so pay up you heathens!

That looks about right to me...