Sticking Around in Stalag 13

[Corsair]

In 1965 a new comedy was released that most of you will recognize. "Hogan's Heroes" first broadcast on September 17, 1965 and had six seasons. I only saw the show in reruns decades later and it still shows up on cable channels. I certainly enjoyed the show as the parody and near slapstick comedy it actually was. All of the episodes appear to be on YouTube.

At the risk of violating Godwin's Law, lately I have a ridiculous new found respect for Hogan's Heroes since I consider it a metaphor describing my church experience. I'm trapped in ward Stalag 13 where I see the LDS church as a parody of itself and I choose to remain to hopefully assist others getting out and staying safe. I won't try to trivialize either the problems experienced by people in the LDS church nor the real life of WW2 POWs in Germany and actual Holocaust victims. But at the same time I am not being harmed by the LDS church beyond being bored for three hours on Sunday. I still serve in my ward and leadership seems to think well enough of me.

I also won't identify anyone in my ward as the bumbling Colonel Klink or Sergeant Schultz. I serve with good people doing the best they can. But they believe what comes down from the LDS High Command in Salt Lake City and I do my best to work around it. Still, Colonel Hogan and the prisoners in Stalag 13 could leave at any time but choose to to not do so because their continued stay in this prison camp saved lives while they out maneuvered Nazi leadership.

Yesterday I talked with Wendy Montgomery, the lead Mama Dragon herself. She was speaking at a group discussing the November policy released a year ago. Among the things she recommended, she wanted us who remain in the LDS Church to be the safe ally for LGBT teens to escape safely. I was initially annoyed at this request since I would prefer to leave also. But as long as there is some purpose beyond humour and parody for me to stay, I suppose I can be the Mormon that Sister Montgomery needs me to be. Maybe I can also help somebody who has run into other problems with the church involving unrealistic expectations or excessive guilt. I certainly shed any LDS guilt long ago and simply enjoy quiet Fast Sunday breakfast and watching "Game of Thrones". I am authentically Mormon just as much as Colonel Robert E. Hogan is a prisoner of war.

In the show, Werner Klemperer (Klink), John Banner (Schultz), Leon Askin (Burkhalter), and Robert Clary (LeBeau) were Jews who had fled the actual Nazis during World War II. I doubt I will be filming any parody movies of the LDS church, but maybe my involvement can help people actually suffering. Church membership can trap people, but the irony is that the doors are locked from the inside by social pressure from friends and family. At the next opportunity I can get, I will raise a glass of German beer in praise of a very entertaining show and a reasonable inspiration for sticking around.

[SeeNoEvil]

Being a huge fan of Hogan's Hero's I loved your metaphor! Who would have thought that this would inspire you to find a way to stay in the church. I often think if I could have found a way to stay I might have. Wendy's request is needed. The LGBTQ mormon youth need a safe place to be heard, to vent, to be accept... to know there is nothing wrong or sinful about them. That they are OK just as they are. That is great you were able to hear her speak.

[MoPag]

she wanted us who remain in the LDS Church to be the safe ally for LGBT teens to escape safely.

I love this. It's like our secret calling. Thanks for sharing. I really like your posts Corsair.

[wtfluff]

Yesterday I talked with Wendy Montgomery, the lead Mama Dragon herself. She was speaking at a group discussing the November policy released a year ago. Among the things she recommended, she wanted us who remain in the LDS Church to be the safe ally for LGBT teens to escape safely. I was initially annoyed at this request since I would prefer to leave also. But as long as there is some purpose beyond humour and parody for me to stay, I suppose I can be the Mormon that Sister Montgomery needs me to be.

Did Wendy give any ideas as to how to go about being the advocate she wants you (us) to be?

[AzCommando]

Thanks for your post Corsair. I remember well the show and I didn't miss an episode. I loved Helga. I think that the second Helga on the series ended up Bob Cranes wife in real life. Interesting marriage to say the least which can be googled. I remember his death, murder right here in Scottsdale.

I so appreciate what you are doing and the good you can do. The so called true church has completely lost its way, as if it ever had a true way. Those of us that are on the outside will never regain any credibility or identity that we once had... taken from us after the years of service and worship, sweat and payment to the church of Joseph Smith.

[Corsair]

Did Wendy give any ideas as to how to go about being the advocate she wants you (us) to be?

As confusing as puberty was for all of us straight types, it's apparently far more confusing for people who are not a 0 or 1 on the Kinsey scale. A confused LGBT youth has to have a lot of courage to tell anyone else but knowing that someone is a likely ally makes all the difference. The LGBT youth is taking an enormous risk in case they tell a parent or a bishop that urges them to repent and begin reparative therapy. They would far more prefer talking to a potential ally, but those are often very difficult to identify. It's tough enough for a NOM to risk social penalties from revealing themselves, but the LGBT teenager is risking privation and homelessness leading up to the appalling suicide statistics for youth in Utah.

Every time some NOM or closet unbeliever participates as a nominal ward member they build up some social credibility. This is particularly true of people like me who have been in one, stable ward for 18 years so I know it well. I can be allowed a few amusing foibles which I spend judiciously. This is social capital that can be used to carefully identify yourself to the youth that are at risk. I have no "gaydar" at all but I hope the youth in my ward know that I can be approached about some of these issues. That's what Wendy wants from people that are staying.

I have not worn a rainbow flag, pin, or tie to church, but it's a pretty universally known symbol. I wish there was some similar symbol for unbelievers. Maybe I could combine symbols into a rainbow tapir. Perhaps that's the next step I need to take as long as I am sticking around.

[MoPag]

Look what I found.

[Red Ryder]

How about a drone with a trailing rainbow flag?

[Corsair]

How about a drone with a trailing rainbow flag?

Careful now. We've discussed this...

[Hagoth]

I knew a guy who was a prisoner in the real Stalag 13. He hated that show. His experience wasn't quite as jolly. He sat in the dark all day, manacled hand and foot. Twice a day the prisoners were allowed to stand up and walk in a circle around the courtyard for an hour. Maybe more appropriate for an FLDS analogy.

Thanks for the intro, Corsair.

[Mahonri Moriancumer]

Loved the Hogan's Heroes metaphor! Thanks for the intro.

[moksha]

Wonder if Sergeant Schultz's famous line, "I see nothing, I know nothing" could ever be incorporated into a General Conference talk as a method of staying true to the Church?

[Corsair]

Wonder if Sergeant Schultz's famous line, "I see nothing, I know nothing" could ever be incorporated into a General Conference talk as a method of staying true to the Church?

D&C 93:36 states, "The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth." But if I imagine Schultz or Klink saying this phrase it comes out sounding like satire and parody.

[MalcolmVillager]

I have heard of the show but never watched it. I guess I am too young. Wasnt there a Nintendo shooting game with that same name?

Corsair, thanks for being here. You are one of the "stalwarts" of this ward!