A few weeks back we had our stake conference, where our SP was released. If you've read my posts, you know I'm not all that broken up about it, we were never on the same page. The new SP is a good friend, we were bishops at the same time, and a counsellor is another bishop who served at the same time. The three of us always joked that that the new SP (and we were right, it was him!) would call us as counsellors at some point in the future, and we would "fix" things in the stake. Well, I guess I screwed that plan up royally!
But what I thought was interesting, as I contemplated this, I felt NOTHING. Absolutely nothing at all. And it was wonderful, not feeling anything at all.
I wasn't jealous of my friend for getting a high calling.
I wasn't sad about not being his counsellor.
I don't feel I'm missing out on "blessings."
I feel nothing, other than grateful I don't have to serve as unpaid labour anymore to the corporation. And grateful that my friend knows my views, and for the 9 or 10 years of him being in charge, he's going to leave me alone and let me do my thing. And I've come to realize, that's all I really want.
Now THAT'S a lovely feeling.
Feeling Nothing at All
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Mormorrisey
- Posts: 1425
- Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:54 pm
Feeling Nothing at All
"And I don't need you...or, your homespun philosophies."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."
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Not Buying It
- Posts: 1308
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Re: Feeling Nothing at All
I bet it is a lovely feeling. And it's a sign you are leaving some of the baggage of Mormonism behind, and that's a good thing. People are mentally out of the Church but still have those kinds of feelings still haven't moved on mentally yet.
Congrats!
Congrats!
"The truth is elegantly simple. The lie needs complex apologia. 4 simple words: Joe made it up. It answers everything with the perfect simplicity of Occam's Razor. Every convoluted excuse withers." - Some guy on Reddit called disposazelph
Re: Feeling Nothing at All
That is awesome. When people get together and talk about callings now I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. It feels a little weird, but it is really nice.
Re: Feeling Nothing at All
That is great. It sounds like the roots of your indoctrination are losing their grip. Enjoy your freedom!
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut
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Mormorrisey
- Posts: 1425
- Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:54 pm
Re: Feeling Nothing at All
I haven't thought about it that way, but it sure makes a lot of sense! I sure hope that's the case.Not Buying It wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 5:19 pm I bet it is a lovely feeling. And it's a sign you are leaving some of the baggage of Mormonism behind, and that's a good thing. People are mentally out of the Church but still have those kinds of feelings still haven't moved on mentally yet.
"And I don't need you...or, your homespun philosophies."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."
Re: Feeling Nothing at All
Congratulations. I had a similar feeling when I first lost my testimony. I suddenly realize that all the obligations and guilt from church could no longer affect me. I still do a lot out of obligation to family, but activity with the church is truly voluntary at this point.Mormorrisey wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2017 4:09 pm I feel nothing, other than grateful I don't have to serve as unpaid labour anymore to the corporation. And grateful that my friend knows my views, and for the 9 or 10 years of him being in charge, he's going to leave me alone and let me do my thing. And I've come to realize, that's all I really want.
Now THAT'S a lovely feeling.
Re: Feeling Nothing at All
Sounds like you're beginning to heal. That's excellent!