Meridian Mag- Spiritual Abuse article

[BriansThoughtMirror]

Meridian Magazine just published an article on Spiritual Abuse. While the article makes a few good points, I think in some ways it enables further abuse. The article desperately needs our comments.

http://ldsmag.com/shedding-a-light-on-spiritual-abuse/

The author doesn't understand that the actual teachings of the church can be abusive. They claim that abuse comes when true teachings are used with intent to hurt someone, or generally when not guided by the spirit. This allows an abuser who believes they are in the right or guided by the spirit to continue to abuse their victims, even if they are doing it unintentionally.

She uses the example of a husband reading Ensign articles to his wife to prove that she is spiritually deficient. She says this is abuse, which I agree with. Unfortunately, even if the husband doesn't do this, the wife is still told by church authorities to read or listen to the very same materials. Instead, she is left to come to her own conclusion that she is spiritually deficient. She ends up feeling terrible either way. Worst of all, she doesn't know she's being abused.

The very worst part, in my opinion, is about "Spiritual Self Abuse". She says that if a person is miserable because of some church teaching, or because of trying to be perfect, THAT PERSON NEEDS TO REPENT. She says they are abusing themselves, and have failed to receive the teachings with the correct spirit. THIS IDEA IS ABUSIVE!

EDIT- fixed link.

[oliver_denom]

There are a number of good points in here, its the omissions that throw the argument off. For example, there are no mentions of priesthood leaders practicing spiritual abuse. There's a husband towards his wife and parents toward their children, but nothing from a Bishop or Stake President. This omission is further reinforced by the repeated idea that church teachings can never be false.

One by one, our son’s friends stopped being his friend and church became a place where he felt rejected and alone. Our son was not questioning the truths we had taught him, he was just desperate for a friend. When another family with teen boys moved into the ward, our son developed friendships that made church more inviting.

There are three reasons given for why we may not be edified by church teachings: 1) It's a lie 2) The teacher doesn't have the spirit 3) The student doesn't have the spirit. The writer only considers options 2 and 3, she never entertains the first option.

If we are not edified by what we hear, either it is not the truth or it is being taught or received without the Spirit. “And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness” (D&C 50: 21-22).

The abused feel utterly discouraged, confused, down-trodden, unable to see the way ahead and begin to see the abuser as his enemy. Actually, the abuser is not the enemy, but has been misled and used by “the” enemy of us all to be an instrument of discouragement.

This is probably the worse line in the whole write-up. If the abuser isn't our enemy, then who is? It's Satan. It's the devil's fault. So when that abuser comes back begging for forgiveness, then we have to give it to him, right? After all, it was our common enemy that got the best of both of us. It was your fault for allowing yourself to believe the abuser was your enemy, and the abuser's fault for yielding to that bad old Satan. No harm, no foul, it all washes out.

Bleh.

[BriansThoughtMirror]

Yep. This article will enable abuse.

Another thing they omit is the LDS abuse of doubters and apostates. The LDS church says so many awful things about anyone who doubts or leaves. They say things designed to intimidate or guilt people back into belief.

[Palerider]

Pretty sure one of the signs of a cult is that fault always lies with the member, never with the leadership/organization.

[Hagoth]

So, getting sexual favors from girls via threats about angels with swords: spiritual abuse or righteous obedience?

[Corsair]

So, getting sexual favors from girls via threats about angels with swords: spiritual abuse or righteous obedience?

The Plural Marriage in Kirtland and Nauvoo essay does mention the angel with a drawn sword quite openly.

Consistent with this pattern, Joseph told associates that an angel appeared to him three times between 1834 and 1842 and commanded him to proceed with plural marriage when he hesitated to move forward. During the third and final appearance, the angel came with a drawn sword, threatening Joseph with destruction unless he went forward and obeyed the commandment fully.

But since it is God applying the pressure it must be interpreted as righteousness, not Joseph's base desires. in essence, God is once again thrown under the bus instead of Joseph.

[Thoughtful]

Does leaving a child in the desert if they have doubts count as spiritual abuse? Asking for a friend.

Pretty sure one of the signs of a cult is that fault always lies with the member, never with the leadership/organization.

This exactly.

[moksha]

To help contain instances of abuse, those angels might consider beating their drawn swords into plowshares.

[BriansThoughtMirror]

Does leaving a child in the desert if they have doubts count as spiritual abuse? Asking for a friend.

Hell yes it does. That came to my mind immediately.

[Emower]

To help contain instances of abuse, those angels might consider beating their drawn swords into plowshares.

Or just beating their "drawn swords"... I'm sure they will feel much better.

[RubinHighlander]

To help contain instances of abuse, those angels might consider beating their drawn swords into plowshares.

Or just beating their "drawn swords"... I'm sure they will feel much better.

+1

Because, what good is a sword that stays forever in it's sheath? Or one that you draw out and wave around but never actually use? Time doth corrupt and rust that sword.