The Best Quotes of NOM

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Red Ryder
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The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by Red Ryder »

Post your favorite quotes from NOM.

Here's a few of mine.
Hagoth wrote:Assuming LDS eternal progression doctrine is true, God was probably a hunter-gatherer or maybe a poor field worker or common laborer in a stone age society on some distant planet.
Corsair wrote:May I humbly suggest that you spend your free time and tithing money turning into a coffee afficianado, not an alcohol afficianado. I'm not saying that you should be teetotaler. But the effects of too much coffee are increased focus, finishing projects, paying attention to driving, and staying up late to finish homework assignments.
Emower wrote:How can people not recognize and understand that this church is led by a committee of your grandpas?
wtfluff wrote:Does my Magic Ranger Ring have an expiration date???
el-asherah wrote:Which Juan did this apply to?
Last edited by Red Ryder on Wed Aug 02, 2017 2:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
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wtfluff
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by wtfluff »

Red Ryder wrote: Fri Feb 03, 2017 7:10 am ... The polygamy panties ...
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

Gave up who I am for who you wanted me to be...
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Red Ryder
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by Red Ryder »

deacon blues wrote:It is a very odd way of expressing the "Golden Years." Makes President Monson sound like a tube of toothpaste.
Stig wrote: Thu Aug 03, 2017 3:25 pm This entire situation has turned into a massive dumpster fire. I stand all amazed...
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
ulmite
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by ulmite »

moksha wrote: Sun Jun 25, 2017 3:39 am
2bizE wrote: Sat Jun 24, 2017 5:28 pm Who is on Uchtdorfs side?
God.
Corsair
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by Corsair »

Hagoth wrote:Yup, Elder Nelson has established himself as the mouthpiece of the mouthpiece of God.
Corsair
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by Corsair »

OK, this is a conference talk, but kindly prove to me that some closet NOM or apostate was not somehow responsible for the innuendo in Monson's "True Shepherds" talk in October 2013
President Monson's speechwriter wrote:Assigned as home teacher to the Hammer family was Willard Milne, a friend of mine. Since I knew Dick Hammer as well, having printed the menus for his café, I would ask my friend Brother Milne when I visited St. George, “How is our friend Dick Hammer coming?”

The reply would generally be, “He’s coming, but slowly.”
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Silver Girl
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by Silver Girl »

I can't remember who said these, but I love them - they're paraphrased here:

"Sex Prevention Suit" (who came up with that one? it's so perfect!)

"In one (sentence? statement?) the church tells you it has all the answers, and not to ask questions." (I'm sure I messed up the exact phrasing, but that quote should be on every church building, on all literature, and used as a footer for official stationary).

If anyone can correct the phrasing and/or cite the sources and give credit, please do!
.
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Silver Girl is sailing into the future. She is no longer scared.
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Red Ryder
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by Red Ryder »

Silver Girl wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2017 5:31 am I can't remember who said these, but I love them - they're paraphrased here:

"Sex Prevention Suit" (who came up with that one? it's so perfect!)
That was coined by Released, a former Bishop who used to post around 2013 - 2014. He left and his wife followed. I wonder what he is up to these days? We need a "Reunion" or "Where are they now" behind the scenes VH1 special thread.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
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Stig
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by Stig »

It's too bad Red Ryder's "Parable of the Shirtless Commute" was lost to the Internet-Ether with the demise of the old NOM board. :(
“Some say he’s wanted by the CIA and that he sleeps upside down like a Bat. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”

“Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals. All we know is he’s called the Stig.”
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wtfluff
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by wtfluff »

Red Ryder wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2017 7:12 am
Silver Girl wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2017 5:31 am I can't remember who said these, but I love them - they're paraphrased here:

"Sex Prevention Suit" (who came up with that one? it's so perfect!)
That was coined by Released, a former Bishop who used to post around 2013 - 2014. He left and his wife followed. I wonder what he is up to these days? We need a "Reunion" or "Where are they now" behind the scenes VH1 special thread.
I couldn't remember if it was Released, or Yobispo. Just knew that it was a former bishop.

And yeah, who "released' them from their "NOM" callings? (Lucky Buggers!)
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

Gave up who I am for who you wanted me to be...
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Linked
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by Linked »

no1saint wrote: Mon Aug 07, 2017 7:08 am Apostolic Survivor
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut
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Red Ryder
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Re: The Best Quotes of NOM

Post by Red Ryder »

Enough wrote:I do not understand how family members can choose dogma over family. To me...this is crazy.
Hagoth wrote:If you choose to believe in wacky stuff and judge me for choosing to believe instead in evidence-based stuff, which one of us really has a problem?
Not Buying It wrote:What kind of a warped culture is it when you stop believing in something and hide it from your loved ones for years because you don't dare let them know you no longer believe?
Malcolm Villager wrote:Honestly I live a charmed life and I am the person the church was built for. Straight, white, middle class, educated, horny male.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
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