Pulled Aside by the Ward Executive Secretary...

[Linked]

After church he pulled me aside in the hall as my family and I were heading home and told me that my temple recommend was expired, like he was letting me know in case I was unaware. I smiled and told him thanks for letting me know, then chased my 3 year old down the hall and went home.

My bishop and I have had 2 discussions about my loss of faith, both a couple years ago. Nobody else in the ward knows. It was disconcerting that more people are involved. I would stop attending tomorrow if not for DW, and it would be better for her if I can just pretend for the rest of the ward. Hopefully they don't push the issue.

[TestimonyLost]

I hope they can just let it go for you. At one point, you may just have to say you're not planning to renew it before they'll leave you alone about it. I remember well the ward council meetings where the list of expired recommend holders was discussed. To the Bishop's credit, who was on the list was kept private in these discussions but it was still a regular topic of conversation how to reach out to those folks and get them renewed. You'll always be someone's project.

My recommend expires next month. It's the first time I've ever realistically considered not renewing it. My wife expects me to let it go. And yet...I don't know. I'm waffling. I'm not sure I'm ready yet. It feels like such an official step to coming out about my unbelief.

[Linked]

I hope they can just let it go for you. At one point, you may just have to say you're not planning to renew it before they'll leave you alone about it. I remember well the ward council meetings where the list of expired recommend holders was discussed. To the Bishop's credit, who was on the list was kept private in these discussions but it was still a regular topic of conversation how to reach out to those folks and get them renewed. You'll always be someone's project.

My recommend expires next month. It's the first time I've ever realistically considered not renewing it. My wife expects me to let it go. And yet...I don't know. I'm waffling. I'm not sure I'm ready yet. It feels like such an official step to coming out about my unbelief.

I know how you feel. I let mine lapse a couple years ago and it was pretty stressful for me, but I had just told my bishop that I was an apostate, on top of me not being comfortable at the time to give nuanced or false answers to the temple recommend questions. My wife would also have thought I was a liar if I had gotten a TR at the time, which I didn't think was worth it.

Until now it has been mostly not an issue. Except for when my wife got hers renewed without me and I foolishly freaked out about becoming a project and her becoming a pariah because she had a TR and I didn't. I think yesterday's quick conversation was not a big deal too, but I worry that it may become something, or just be a constant dull annoyance from here on out.