Forum Rules?

[Shawn]

I don't see any rules. Do they exist? I want to vent and I don't know what's allowed.

[CaptainSalty]

This is an excellent question. I don't have a copy of the rules of NOM 1.0 nor have official rules of NOM 2.0 been established. I would prefer to keep the language at PG or with appropriate use of asterisks that leave very little to the imagination. I absolutely know the need the vent also. Making witty references to the temple ceremony can usually slide by. I certainly had one of my own posts moderated away when I posted what I thought was a hilarious triptych composition of Tom Monson, Emperor Palapatine, and the Crypt Keeper.

Would it make sense to have a Venting forum that stands as a NSFW language and much less moderated version of the Support forum? Would it make sense to mark your vent with NSFW under appropriate circumstances? The balance is always marked by a needed level of civility when our believing friends, family, bishops, and spouses occasionally show up after not discovering porn in our browser history.

[Korihor]

As much as I would like a NSFW forum here, I don't think we should. This place is supposed to be a halfway point between belief and outer darkness. If someone needs to let loose, Reddit ExMo will happily tolerate anything. Even if we disclaimer a specific forum as "anything goes", eventually spouses, visitors, guests and any else will see it and those words are hard to take back.

I think we'll do better with a "better safe than sorry" approach.

[Shawn]

Okay, I can vent and curse on Reddit. Thanks.

[alas]

NOM 1.1 tried a forum specifically for venting but closed it down because the anger and bad words spread to all the forums. So, they went to NOM 1.2 where the angst forum was readable but locked.

It becomes very hard to moderate with different rules in different forums.

[SeeNoEvil]

As much as I would like a NSFW forum here, I don't think we should. This place is supposed to be a halfway point between belief and outer darkness. If someone needs to let loose, Reddit ExMo will happily tolerate anything. Even if we disclaimer a specific forum as "anything goes", eventually spouses, visitors, guests and any else will see it and those words are hard to take back.

I think we'll do better with a "better safe than sorry" approach.

I agree. When I went searching it was the anger on Reddit ExMo that kept me here. I get their anger but I think it takes away from what we are trying to achieve here.

If I remember right on NOM 1.0 they discouraged using the word "C" word (cult) when discussing the church. I have a pretty strong opinion about this and have done a lot of research into it. Does the old standard still exist or can we be a bit more liberal this time around?

[Silver Girl]

See No Evil has some good questions - it would be good to know if it's okay to be realistic here (such as using the "C" word at times), without being as edgy and off-color as Reddit. NOM 1.0 was developed before a lot of the facts surfaced - some people still need a safe place to go through recovery, but reversing their direction with the church may not be possible.

The church is part of the history of (I assume) everyone on this site - many of us have been terribly hurt through our membership and involvement. For me, NOM 1.0 was a safe place to process all of that and to put the church in a different place in my mind. It's still there, though - those years didn't just evaporate.

[nibbler]

...it would be good to know if it's okay to be realistic here (such as using the "C" word at times), without being as edgy and off-color as Reddit...

[Corsair]

Were there published rules on NOM 1.0? I probably never read them if there were. But they would be a good starting point for NOM 2.0.

[wtfluff]

Were there published rules on NOM 1.0? I probably never read them if there were. But they would be a good starting point for NOM 2.0.

Yeah there were "published" rules; Someone probably pulled them from the wayback machine, and posted them on the Reddit NOMforum:

Posting Guidelines: please read this! Welcome to NOM! We're glad you've found us, and hope you'll benefit from reading and asking questions and interacting with people here.

Before you start to post messages on the New Order Mormons bulletin board, it will be helpful to review some of our expectations and suggestions for participants. These mainly fall into the categories of Support, Courtesy and Anonymity

NOM exists to benefit people who feel alienated because they do not believe some (or many) of the church's teachings. Most of these people are current LDS members who remain actively involved with the church, usually to support their LDS family.

People who do not feel alienated at church due to their beliefs have little to offer to the discussion. In particular, we do not want LDS believers to tell us that we simply don't understand the church's teachings, or that we'd be better off if we changed our beliefs. Because many people come directly to the message board, bypassing the website's homepage, we'd like to point out some of our expectations, as briefly as possible. For more details, click on this link: Community Guidelines

Unlike a lot of sites for people who are disillusioned with the LDS church, this one is not mainly about how rotten the church is. It's more about how to live in harmony with people (spouses, parents, siblings, co-workers) who are faithful members. For this reason, we try to keep church-bashing to a minimum. Among other things, we ask people to avoid snide and condescending nicknames for the church, such as "the Church." Be civil and avoid using pejorative words when discussing other posters. In the words of one of our founders, “This forum is here to afford community for processing the crisis of faith, and is not about throwing rocks at TBM's or others either trying to find a middle way or trying to get away gracefully.”

Also, if you are worried that someone might happen across your postings on this group and figure out who you are In Real Life, be careful about the information you give out, both in messages and on your registration.

If you have questions or concerns about how the board is run, your low key and selfless moderators (who rarely have any moderating to do because the participants are so polite and erudite and enlightened) can be reached by clicking on the pm icon below the messages they have written, below.

Welcome again. We're looking forward to hearing from you.

[Lithium Sunset]

If you guys do decide to post rules you could also think about posting a list of explained abbreviations for the newcomers. I know that when I first joined I did not know what TBM was and we use a ton of abbreviations here. Just a thought. And the recommend reading page was a nice reference too.

Just throwing that out there. The site is going great as it is.

[AllieOop]

If you guys do decide to post rules you could also think about posting a list of explained abbreviations for the newcomers. I know that when I first joined I did not know what TBM was and we use a ton of abbreviations here. Just a thought. And the recommend reading page was a nice reference too.

Just throwing that out there. The site is going great as it is.

Those are great suggestions. I remember the list of common abbreviations on the old site and I referred to them often (especially when I first joined the forum). I also like the recommended reading idea. Thanks for posting about these!

[oliver_denom]

I really enjoy swearing though. It's never in an angry way, more like happy little swears. I really, really love the F-word in all its variants. Can we have a rule that swearing is okay as long as it's fun?

[Ghost]

One thing that may be worth considering is how the atmosphere would be perceived by those who are at different stages of a transition of faith. I know that when I first encountered NOM, it felt a little too edgy at first even with its rules on clean and respectful language (though it didn't take too long to win me over).

I think things might have been different had everyone been throwing around strong language, even if just in fun. It was actually some of the irreverent humor that made me uncomfortable. Then again, even the cartoons in Sunstone used to bother me and that's one of the reasons I subscribed to only Dialogue back then. So maybe I was simply more sensitive than normal.

But making the site welcoming to some who might find the discussions most valuable without overdoing it with rules may be a difficult balance.

I hadn't realized that the word "cult" was off-limits. I remember discussions of use of its use in the past. I personally think that it's too loaded a term to convey much other than emotion, but that may be just me.

[Corsair]

I hadn't realized that the word "cult" was off-limits. I remember discussions of use of its use in the past. I personally think that it's too loaded a term to convey much other than emotion, but that may be just me.

Yes, "cult" is a very loaded word, superseded only by racial epithets. It's like comparing a political party to Nazis. While there are accurate descriptions of both "cult" and "Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei", the history of the 20th century has doomed these terms into angry accusations.