Turning in TR

[Korihor]

Just a random thought. My TR is going to expire in the near future. I was thinking about turning it in to the BP the Sunday before it expires.

[Red Ryder]

Why not renew it?

[AllieOop]

Just a random thought. My TR is going to expire in the near future. I was thinking about turning it in to the BP the Sunday before it expires.

I've kept my expired TR (and my husband's) because they have our membership record numbers on them. Just to have for reference (and I've had to use the number to register and update my lds.org membership that I still use from time to time).

So write the number down before you turn it in (unless you already have or don't care if you keep it ).

[Enough]

I've done this (giving back a TR) before. In all honesty, it felt GREAT to say (to the SP1C)-- I don't want this.

[Korihor]

Just a random thought. My TR is going to expire in the near future. I was thinking about turning it in to the BP the Sunday before it expires.

I've kept my expired TR (and my husband's) because they have our membership record numbers on them. Just to have for reference (and I've had to use the number to register and update my lds.org membership that I still use from time to time).

So write the number down before you turn it in (unless you already have or don't care if you keep it ).

Good point. I already have my membership# saved elsewhere.

[Korihor]

I've done this (giving back a TR) before. In all honesty, it felt GREAT to say (to the SP1C)-- I don't want this.

This is basically the reason I'm thinking of doing it.

[Enoch Witty]

I've done this (giving back a TR) before. In all honesty, it felt GREAT to say (to the SP1C)-- I don't want this.

This is basically the reason I'm thinking of doing it.

I can see this point of view, but to me, giving it back to them gives them power. If you don't want it, throw it in the garbage. That's what it deserves. Who cares what a church leader thinks?

I'm mostly playing devil's advocate here. I don't think it's wrong to give it back per se, and I can see how it could be cathartic, but I just don't think it will mean anything.

The timing of giving it back right as it expires is pretty funny, though.

[Enough]

[...to me, giving it back to them gives them power. If you don't want it, throw it in the garbage. That's what it deserves. Who cares what a church leader thinks?

I get what you're saying. ...But, I see it like this:

25 years ago (minus 1 month), I sat ...blindly & in a state of confusion .... I sat in a Temple "endowment" session...my Endowment session (having gone through the Initiatory procedure (Naked-in-a-Shield-style), just before....Anyway... I experienced & listened to things that I didn't see coming. I didn't know they were coming...because no one was willing to tell me...not my parents, my Grandfather who "officiated" that day, other Endowed family or friends...no one. I wasn't provided important information in my "Marriage Preparation"" Course at BYU or my "Temple Prepatation" class, sponsored by my Stake, either.

On the day before my wedding, I was told that I could leave of my "own free will and choice" ...OR proceed (with the covenants...that would remain undisclosed) untill it was too late.

I might be slow ...ok...VERY slow...but, I finally found my voice. I walked out...and it meant a lot to me to do that in front of an ecclesiastical Witness, with my Card on the table.

My baptism, endowment, and sealing required a Witness. Why not this?

[2bizE]

Just a random thought. My TR is going to expire in the near future. I was thinking about turning it in to the BP the Sunday before it expires.

They may already have deactivated it anyway....

[Phil Lurkerman]

I've done this (giving back a TR) before. In all honesty, it felt GREAT to say (to the SP1C)-- I don't want this.

This is basically the reason I'm thinking of doing it.

If turning your TR in will give you a sense of finality or closure - go for it!

On the other hand, my experience has been that quietly fading away is the path of least resistance and emotional entanglement. But I'm a fairly passive "don't poke the bear" kind of a guy.

[Red Ryder]

Korihor likes to poke the bear!

I might be slow ...ok...VERY slow...but, I finally found my voice. I walked out...and it meant a lot to me to do that in front of an ecclesiastical Witness, with my Card on the table.

My baptism, endowment, and sealing required a Witness. Why not this?

Love it. In Lindsey Hanson Park's recent Reddit AMA, she points out we should all resist in some form or fashion. I think this is a perfect way to make your point! Let them know it's your decision and not theirs.

She said,

I am constantly asking exmo's to examine how they engage in and reinforce the apostate rhetoric. Too often we let the LDS hierarchy define the terms of the conversation and play along according to the rules they've written. I get that it's an uphill battle, but if more people start claiming Mormonism and living their lives openly, it really does make it a softer landing for those who don't fit.

...and:

Yeah, that is going to be the consequence of the system we grew up in. And that's why i keep using the word, "resist." we have to live as an act of resistance. Our bodies are resistance to our family and community who would reject us. Resistance is painful though.

Again, hanging out with my fundamentalist friends has been so incredibly powerful for that reason. These are people who are told by the institution they can't be Mormon anymore and they go be ten times more Mormon. It's pretty brilliant actually. I didn't know we were even allowed to do that, but of course we are. So if people say you can't anymore, follow the example of our fundamentalist friends and Mormon however the hell you want.

It's also important to remind them that a current temple recommend is not necessary for salvation and that the members without a recommend far outnumber the members with a recommend.

[Wonderment]

It's also important to remind them that a current temple recommend is not necessary for salvation and that the members without a recommend far outnumber the members with a recommend.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Good question, and it's an important point. In order to get closure, some former members feel it helps to say, "I don't need this anymore". And for some
former members, it helps best to quietly slip out the door.

I want to say --- I am so, so, so, glad to see this forum up and running again ! I searched for months, then sadly gave up on ever finding it again. Thank you to the mods and administrators who made this board possible ! Greatly appreciated. So good to "see" you all again, from Wndr.

[Red Ryder]

Wonderment!!!

Glad you made it back! You've been missed.

[Enough]

Korihor likes to poke the bear

-- yeah...I'm technologically impaired. (The bear picture showed up for me when I first posted it. But, whatever).

To be frank, the Temple Worker Grandmas started it
#yayfornomoreshields

And....HI WONDERMENT! Welcome Back!

[Hagoth]

I am so, so, so, glad to see this forum up and running again !

And we are so, so, so glad to have you back! We tried to get the word out everywhere but it's hard to reach all of the nooks and crannies.

[Notchet]

I've done this (giving back a TR) before. In all honesty, it felt GREAT to say (to the SP1C)-- I don't want this.

This is basically the reason I'm thinking of doing it.

Turned mine in a few years ago. Made an appointment with the SP and said, "I don't need or want this anymore". His immediate expression was, "What have you done?". I told him I had nothing to confess. "Why then?", he asked. My response, "Plagiarized masonic ritual does nothing for me". It felt so liberating to personally hand in my unexpired TR, and take away one of their favorite methods of behavior control.

[Hagoth]

And that's why i keep using the word, "resist." we have to live as an act of resistance.

This is something I really struggle with. How and to what degree to resist while not making my wife pay for it in the community where she still wants to be a participant.

How overt vs. subtle should this resistance be? Some of us just don't have confrontational personalities. For me it mostly consists of not going to meetings that I don't want to, not accepting callings, of saying, "sorry, I just don't believe that now," and by answering questions like "why don't we see you in HPG?" with, "because I don't like it," and "when can we schedule your PPI?" with "I don't do those anymore," but all the time remaining friendly and positive and trying to be a good neighbor. When I discuss doctrine with my SP I tell him I can't support things like the same-sex policy because I think it's un-Christ-like, bigoted and uninspired.

So, by doing these kinds of things I feel like I'm participating on my own terms and being present in a way that I hope defies the apostate stereotype. But does it come across as resistance to my fellow ward members or as mere laziness? I really don't know. What do you think?

I really respect people with the guts to mike-drop their temple recommend on the SP's desk, but I don't want to turn in my TR because I'm proud of the fact that I was honest with my leaders (although I give them the credit for being amazing) and was still able to bring home the trophy. I've reached a point where I really don't care nearly as much about the silliness and masonic plagiarism that goes on in the temple as I do about the fact that my sweetie still reveres it as a sacred place and likes to think I could go with her, though I rarely do. They could be playing Twister and juggling monkeys in the temple for all I care. Come to think of it, I wish they were!

[Enough]

How overt vs. subtle should this resistance be?

This is a question I ask myself...almost every day.

I don't have an answer.

So, by doing these kinds of things I feel like I'm participating on my own terms and being present in a way that I hope defies the apostate stereotype. But does it come across as resistance to my fellow ward members or as mere laziness? I really don't know. What do you think?

I think you are a compassionate & generous husband, who adores his wife. I think that is amazing! Definitely not lazy.

[Wonderment]

HI RED RYDER !! Hi ENOUGH !! HI HAGOTH !! HI EVERYONE !! I missed you all so much!! I'm so very happy to be "home".

Carry on, everyone !! Love you all. - Wndr.

[Emower]

HI RED RYDER !! Hi ENOUGH !! HI HAGOTH !! HI EVERYONE !! I missed you all so much!! I'm so very happy to be "home".

Carry on, everyone !! Love you all. - Wndr.

Lets hear your story for us new guys!