how to be a successful millenial ex mormon

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Emower
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how to be a successful millenial ex mormon

Post by Emower »

I just read this article online, http://www.plonialmonimormon.com/2015/1 ... al-ex.html

It was a pretty funny read, and quite interesting in my responses to it as I read. I felt like it hit the nail on the head based on what I observe on exmo reddit. I cant tell you how many times I have seen a post over there that reads, "Help, my Mom gave me some counter arguments that I cant get around! Can someone please give me some material to refute her and shut her down?" My reaction has always been that if you cant stand on your own to feet maybe you need to do some more thinking and reading. I thought the article highlighted that sort of attitude.

I can give my reactions to each of the articles points below, but I would love to hear yalls reactions to it as well.

1. I think this is a convenient straw man and oversimplification. As with this whole issue of Mormonism and faith in general, you cannot lump everyone into the same box. While I am sure that some people feel that all apologists operate with bad faith not everyone does. But the people who do are quite vocal and seem to be "the face" of exmormons. So I sympathize with the poster on this point. But I think that the other side of the coin applies to apologists as well.
(If you have any doubt that the peer reviewed academic work of such PhDs as Hugh Nibley, John Gee, Stephen Ricks, Royal Skousen, Steven Harper, and John Welch is nothing but pseudo-scholarship, be sure you read the non-peer reviewed, self-published work of the non-PhD Jeremy Runnells.)
Ok, fine. I agree that someone probably should give as much time to Nibley and Skousen as they do to Runnells and a lot don't. Their bad. But speaking as someone who has given Nibley, Gee, Ricks, and some others I can say that it didn't help. In the case of Gee, it hurt more than helped. Nibley too. The poster talked about Givens and Bushman and how they get dismissed based on their attachment to the church and how they wouldn't want to jeopardize their careers or community by saying any more controversial stuff than they already have. I think the poster underestimates the pain and suffering that goes into a faith transition. Understandably because it has not happened to them.

2. Point number two discusses how exmormons allegedly wont do the requisite homework to come to a well reasoned conclusion. This homework requires reading apologetic works from Sorenson, Perego, Hales etc.
Dear reader, don't be misled by such deception! As is invariably the case, the simplest, quickest, easiest explanation is always the right one. (I mean, that's just science. Ockham's razor, amiright?) You might suppose that the TBM apologist is trying to get you to "think critically" or "carefully reconsider your views" about the issue, but this is not the case. No, this is a diversionary tactic. I mean, really. Who in their right mind is going to read John Sorenson's 800-paged, heavily-footnoted opus Mormon's Codex: An Ancient American Book? That stuff is boring, hard to read, uses lots of scholarly jargon, and will ultimately just draw you away from precious Reddit time.
Point taken. I agree actually. I think that research includes both sides of an issue, and most people would agree with me. The problem comes with differing paradigms. Most of those works require a few key assumptions that most of us exmo's don't employ. This gets in the way of taking some of these apologetic works seriously. One of these assumptions is that Joseph was telling the truth when he spoke. Brian Hales uses this assumption in most of his work. I don't think Joseph was telling the truth, so if Brian Hales' whole point rests on that, what use is it to me? The OP also takes umbrage with exmos labeling what they do as mental gymnastics. I find it hard to believe that they cannot see the kind of effort it takes to make some of the arguments work.
It would be fascinating if we could quantitatively rank mental models based on parsimony with a kind of AIC criterion. But again, this comes down to paradigm differences. I value simplicity, they clearly don't. How do you reconcile that? I don't think you can.

3. This point sounds to me like he is whining about an internet phenomenon that he doesn't like, and more of a generational thing then a specific exmo thing.
What matters isn't whether the meme is "true" or not. What matters is the emotional response it'll evoke in the people who see it, and that it gives you, dear reader, the sense of sophistication and erudition that you so desperately need in the presence of a phalanx of history PhDs at the Joseph Smith Papers and the BYU Church History Department. 
Really? Phalanx of PhDs? That's like saying that Monsanto has the worlds best interests at heart because they employ a "phalanx of PhD's" as well. Jeez, so all we need to do is employ some well educated people to gain legitimacy and respect? That seems like a millennial attitude in itself.

4. I think that this is a good point. I personally think that the exmo community gives the church way more credit than it deserves as far as conspiracy theories go. I don't think that they wake up in the morning wondering how they can make life miserable for specific groups of people.
Likewise, when Elder Cook insists, "Some have asserted that more members are leaving the Church today and that there is more doubt and unbelief than in the past. This is simply not true. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has never been stronger. The number of members removing their names from the records of the Church has always been very small and is significantly less in recent years than in the past," you can absolutely bet that's a lie. (What would he know about Church membership retention and numbers anyway, right?)
Really? Are the past lies that the church has perpetuated off limits in deciding whether someone is telling the truth or not? I notice that there is not discussion about lies/halftruths/dishonesty that have been perpetuated in the past and how this may color a persons attitude going forward. Are the motivations of Elder Cook off limits? Is the fact that he is publically and clearly in charge of delivering faith promoting stories and speeches not at all a consideration?
As an added bonus, if you want to be really edgy as an anti-capitalist, atheist whistleblower who's saving the world from religious fanaticism and capitalism, make sure you set as your profile pic a mask mass-produced in China of a 16th century homicidal religious fanatic.
It sounds like he has a personal problem here. Maybe a nephew or neice that is getting on his facebook nerves?

5.
Don't forget: you are right, they are wrong. You have the truth, they have lies. You're an unbiased, rational thinker, they are deluded, brainwashed sheeple. You have a moral imperative to save those people from their superstition and bigotry, they have the moral imperative to simply accept whatever you say and whatever methods you employ. That means you're free to vandalize, cyberbully, lie, provoke, obfuscate, mislead, deceive, spin, or do anything else you need to do to get the job done.
I agree with him here. If we are to move on from Mormonism, and achieve the legitimacy and happiness that we all want, we need to rise above pettiness and just live a good life. Like Red Ryder is always encouraging, just live a good life. That's all the proof we need. This is sooooo much easier said than done however. And the OP in this article does not understand that. He will not understand until he has gone through something of this himself.

Conclusion.
I hope, dear reader, that you'll find these suggestions helpful as you begin your exciting new life in the world of ex-Mormonism. Now that you're free from being blindly obedient to a cult that asked for your time, money, and unfailing ideological loyalty, I hope you find joy and goodness in being blindly supportive of an online cause (but definitely not a cult) that asks for your time, money, and unfailing ideological loyalty.
Yup, I sure will enjoy my life free from the cult that asked for my time money and unfailing ideological loyalty. I don't think it is fair to compare the exmormon community, which does ask for only as much money as you are willing to give, only as much time as you are willing to give, and does not demand any loyalty. And also does not threaten me with eternal damnation, splitting my family for eternity, and making Jesus sad if I don't give them all those things to the level they decide.
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Red Ryder
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Re: how to be a successful millenial ex mormon

Post by Red Ryder »

Great tear down of an article I would have skipped.

The underlying problem with exmormonism coincidently is the same problem with Mormonism. Immaturity which results in unnecessary judgement regarding the right way things should be done. We all know how that turns out with Mormons. On the flip side, Exmormons are notorious for eating their own. Just look at how Kate Kelly was treated after her excom.

Fortunately most exmormons grow up and move on with life. Why? Because exmormonism has a shelf life. It just doesn't stay interesting after you've dissected it. Think of Bob McCue, John Larsen, and many others who have disappeared over time. At some point you will too. We all will.
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redjay
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Re: how to be a successful millenial ex mormon

Post by redjay »

Emower wrote: Tue Jul 04, 2017 10:54 am
(If you have any doubt that the peer reviewed academic work of such PhDs as Hugh Nibley, John Gee, Stephen Ricks, Royal Skousen, Steven Harper, and John Welch is nothing but pseudo-scholarship, be sure you read the non-peer reviewed, self-published work of the non-PhD Jeremy Runnells.)
Ok, fine. I agree that someone probably should give as much time to Nibley and Skousen as they do to Runnells and a lot don't. Their bad. But speaking as someone who has given Nibley, Gee, Ricks, and some others I can say that it didn't help. In the case of Gee, it hurt more than helped. Nibley too. The poster talked about Givens and Bushman and how they get dismissed based on their attachment to the church and how they wouldn't want to jeopardize their careers or community by saying any more controversial stuff than they already have. I think the poster underestimates the pain and suffering that goes into a faith transition. Understandably because it has not happened to them.
Amen brother - my make or break was an investigation of BoA in response to my wife's have you checked the sources, so I did. I spent about four days just following up on footnotes - i'm not an Egyptologist by any means, but I do have a couple of PG degrees so I know how to read. Anyway I remember coming across an argument from Kerry Muhlenstein and even after a few days of immersing myself in the material I said to myself 'that plainly just isn't true' - that made me think of Kerry et al. as just hired hands and vested interests.

BtW BoA was my crucible, it was wholly a rational pursuit and using the brain God gave me led me to believe the church's claims were demonstrably false.

In short the church apologist turned me against the church.
At the halfway home. I'm a full-grown man. But I'm not afraid to cry.
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redjay
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Re: how to be a successful millenial ex mormon

Post by redjay »

Red Ryder wrote: Tue Jul 04, 2017 3:04 pm Great tear down of an article I would have skipped.

The underlying problem with exmormonism coincidently is the same problem with Mormonism. Immaturity which results in unnecessary judgement regarding the right way things should be done. We all know how that turns out with Mormons. On the flip side, Exmormons are notorious for eating their own. Just look at how Kate Kelly was treated after her excom.

Fortunately most exmormons grow up and move on with life. Why? Because exmormonism has a shelf life. It just doesn't stay interesting after you've dissected it. Think of Bob McCue, John Larsen, and many others who have disappeared over time. At some point you will too. We all will.
John Larsen

Smart arse - but boy did I enjoy his podcast. He really was a trailblazer, and his ability to avoid cog dis is remarkable.
At the halfway home. I'm a full-grown man. But I'm not afraid to cry.
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redjay
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Re: how to be a successful millenial ex mormon

Post by redjay »

deleted duplicate post :)
At the halfway home. I'm a full-grown man. But I'm not afraid to cry.
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Just This Guy
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Re: how to be a successful millenial ex mormon

Post by Just This Guy »

Emower wrote: Tue Jul 04, 2017 10:54 am 1. I think this is a convenient straw man and oversimplification. As with this whole issue of Mormonism and faith in general, you cannot lump everyone into the same box. While I am sure that some people feel that all apologists operate with bad faith not everyone does. But the people who do are quite vocal and seem to be "the face" of exmormons. So I sympathize with the poster on this point. But I think that the other side of the coin applies to apologists as well.
(If you have any doubt that the peer reviewed academic work of such PhDs as Hugh Nibley, John Gee, Stephen Ricks, Royal Skousen, Steven Harper, and John Welch is nothing but pseudo-scholarship, be sure you read the non-peer reviewed, self-published work of the non-PhD Jeremy Runnells.)
Ok, fine. I agree that someone probably should give as much time to Nibley and Skousen as they do to Runnells and a lot don't. Their bad. But speaking as someone who has given Nibley, Gee, Ricks, and some others I can say that it didn't help. In the case of Gee, it hurt more than helped. Nibley too. The poster talked about Givens and Bushman and how they get dismissed based on their attachment to the church and how they wouldn't want to jeopardize their careers or community by saying any more controversial stuff than they already have. I think the poster underestimates the pain and suffering that goes into a faith transition. Understandably because it has not happened to them.

Part of the problem is that, yes, Nibley may be a PhD, but not all of his works are pear reviewed. It is their works that were written for the general membership that are not academically defensible, and the only "peer review" is from other Mormon scholars. When they are peer reviewed, they are torn apart.

When people Quote Nibley or any of these others, it is out of their non-peer reviewed publications. It's a false equivalency there. You can't call all of Nibley peered reviewed. On the same token, Runnels was never intended for peer review, although I'm sure you could if you wanted.
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Corsair
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Re: how to be a successful millenial ex mormon

Post by Corsair »

That's a good summary of the article. It sounds like it was written after casually dismissing every apostate they've ever met without trying to find common ground. There is silly assumption that afflicts this article and a lot of apologetic material as well as some writings of general authorities that occasional deal in apologetics. It is that apostates studied too little and that the right apologetic argument would bring them back to the church if they were simply humble enough. Coming to a different conclusion based on the same evidence is not comprehended by the believers, and often by apostates as well.

I would add that I read Nibley extensively during the most "believing" part of my life and I found his arguments lacking even then. A lot of his arguments are simply "some ancient civilization did some similar to LDS practice therefore it must be from God". This was combined with the frequent observation that Nibley hints at interesting ideas but moves on as if we don't need to worry about it. This guy really needed an editor, but there was simply no one qualified to act as such. As a result he rambles quite a bit in very deep historical and doctrinal territory. It's not that his findings were wrong, it's just that his presented information could only be evaluated by him alone so we are back to argument by authority.

This is contrasted with his defense of the Book of Abraham. His arguments miss the point frequently and he spends way too much time attacking the character of secular Egyptologists who don't think the Book of Abraham is real. His takedown of Fawn Brodie's "No Man Knows My History" is really thin also. Brodie could be accused of presuming Joseph Smith's thoughts and intentions, but it's a well written book and it was a heavily used source for Richard Bushman's much more faithful "Rough Stone Rolling".

John L. Sorenson's magnum opus "Mormon's Codex: An Ancient American Book" is not the slam dunk that this article presumes. I have a good friend who lost his testimony after reading it and seeing how amazingly thin are the arguments for a historical Book of Mormon. At this point in my apostasy, I have too many other useful things to study instead of detailed LDS apologetics. I would place a higher value on binge watching "Game of Thrones" than tackling yet another lengthy book defending Book of Mormon historicity.
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Not Buying It
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Re: how to be a successful millenial ex mormon

Post by Not Buying It »

Blech. That article was icky. The snotty un-Christlike tone, the snide inferences that critics of the Church are just too lazy to research the well-supported arguments of Brian Hales and his crowd, the meme at the top suggesting that "anti-Mormons" aren't and have never been "classy". Yeah, that made me want to embrace the Church again.

If we are going to strawman each other, fine, this article was written by another clumsily arrogant Mormon apologist who wants to try and rationalize the sexual predations of Joseph Smith because they'd rather try and justify sleazy behavior than be intellectually and morally honest enough with themselves to admit the Church can't possibly be what it claims to be. The type of person who desperately hopes you won't recognize that the abundance of references to steel swords in the Book of Mormon and the utter lack of evidence for them in the Americas as absolutely damning evidence against the Book of Mormon being what it claims to be, and just one of many, many evidences against the divinity claims of the Church. But hey, what would I know, I never read Sorenson's 800 page magnum opus or bothered with Brian Hales' slippery rationalizations.

Believe what you want to, buddy, but I don't have to waste any time or effort trying to convince myself the Church is what it claims to be in spite of the mountains of evidence against it. And I don't ever have to try and feel OK about 40 year old men sleeping with teenage girls behind their wife's back.
"The truth is elegantly simple. The lie needs complex apologia. 4 simple words: Joe made it up. It answers everything with the perfect simplicity of Occam's Razor. Every convoluted excuse withers." - Some guy on Reddit called disposazelph
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