General problems of relationships

[moksha]

I guess we've all had the experience of trying to guess the right thing to say to placate your significant other and having the placating response change depending on their mood, full moon, low tide, Game of Thrones episode, season of the year, etc.... Even the most well-organized NOMs must face the imponderableness of relationships.

Any other general problems?

[Give It Time]

I guess we've all had the experience of trying to guess the right thing to say to placate your significant other and having the placating response change depending on their mood, full moon, low tide, Game of Thrones episode, season of the year, etc.... Even the most well-organized NOMs must face the imponderableness of relationships.

Any other general problems?

I'm sorry to hear this, Moksha. I do think we all need to come with manuals. Recently, when I've had problematic interpersonal experiences, I let myself calm down. Then I think of this person, I hold them in my thoughts. Then I say to them, in my thoughts: may you be well, may you be peaceful, may you be happy, may you be loved. Then, I consider them my friend. It's a very intentional choice. When you consider them your friend, you're halfway there to it's being true. Then, I simply don't let them determine my mood. If I want to be cheerful, I damned well will be and I'm cheerful right at them, along with the rest of the world. I'm not cheerful in a "neener-neener" kind of way that indicates they're still living in my head, I'm genuinely cheerful. I don't know. A few days later, they always come around and in open to repairing the relationship. And, yes. Every last bit of this process I got from my looking into Buddhism.

In the meantime, feel free to check out Emower's marriage thread for the reason I'm going to share the picture I do, but I've found pictures like this to be very tonic.

[Newme]

I guess we've all had the experience of trying to guess the right thing to say to placate your significant other and having the placating response change depending on their mood, full moon, low tide, Game of Thrones episode, season of the year, etc.... Even the most well-organized NOMs must face the imponderableness of relationships.

Any other general problems?

Of course, problems arise in my relationships too.
Visiting with a good friend who really understands me & is pretty much on the same page, spiritually, has been so refreshing and made me realize how much I've missed that.

Marriage can get so routine and so much about the kids and sacrificing what one wants in order to fulfill responsibilities or feelings of obligation. It's easy to forget how to figure out what one really wants.