It happened with a NOM member.
After posting on Question #8 of the temple recommend questions, I got a private message from No Tof. It was very timely, with some sound words of wisdom and hope. It wasn’t surprising as his posts often felt like a ‘good old friend’ just when I needed it most whether responding to me or anyone else. Turns out, it was a good old friend. It wasn’t an easy task to sort it out. The what ifs started with his last comment about the geology of the earth – something I am quite passionate about. He then signed his first name.
My first thought was. Crap! This guy has figured out who I am and buggered my anonymity. My next thought was, ‘I know a guy named blank’ (not his real name – but I think I’ll call him Blank from now on . My next thought was, ‘Naaahhh . . . couldn’t be.’ My next thought? Oh Geeez! Maybe he’s gone back and read all my posts including those where I upchucked my anger with acidic sarcasm served up with copious offerings of disrespect for things sacred. I decided to go back and read through his posts to find any dirt - I mean hints of his true identity. It was challenging because he is very discrete, but he dropped a couple of bread crumbs along the way leaving me absolutely sure of who he was. BTW, at this point, I’m still convinced he’s worked out who I am. So. A little game was in order. I kindly and sincerely responded with a PM and dropped a pretty strong clue as follows:
A humble thanks for the very comforting words. If you are who I think you are, we should drop the kayaks in a lake, go for a long paddle, and have a good chat. If you aren't who I think you are, we should still do the same.
We had talked a few weeks previous of doing the kayak thing. I was absolutely shocked, when he replied that he really had no idea who I was. It was time for a reveal and long story short (which is BS because as most of you know, my long stories are, well, longer than long on a long stick). No Tof is someone I know very well. He’s a great guy, respected leader, and friend with an awesome family – all of whom I’ve had a wonderful connection with on many levels, and count them all as topping my list of favorite hominids. We laughed our guts out and have had several visits and some very long and deep discussions about transitions, life, fear, coping, and of course, some light discourse over a cup of brew on the elements of the geology of the earth in a rocky mountain backdrop that overwhelms and out-splendors our limited language by several evolutionary advances impossible to comprehend (but not hard to be moved by).
Although I’ve had every intention of contacting him when I heard rumors of his transition, NOM brought us together in a story-building way that has sealed our friendship and opened some common ground to hack our way to the finish-line whatever and whenever it might be with the expectation that life is adventure and whatever happens between here and there is full of potential happiness and the life-blood of discovery. Thankyou No Tof!