feeling a bit more hopeful

[Korihor]

We attended the little christian church today. I really enjoyed it , dare I say I even felt the spirit.

It is very different that the LDS services. They had a special guest guitar play in the band and he was really good. The songs were very energetic and everyone was really into, swinging their hips, tapping feet and a bit a clapping. We most everyone, yours truly just kinda stood there and took it all in.
I was noticing that although the worship music there is very different from the LDS standard, everyone was really into it. Not just because it had a good rhythm, but they were actually excited to worship their god in song. It was just a passion, energy, excitement, feeling of joy that is terribly lacking in LDS service. In all my experience growing up in the LDS chapel, we were always so afraid of offending the spirit we would never do anything actually exciting and meaningful, no actual expression of joy of loving our god. Just the same dreary melodies. That being said, virtually every song they perform/sing is relatively high energy and wish they would slow it down a bit sometimes. Something like "How great thou art" would be a nice change up occasionally.

The sermon was good, too. In fact, the sermons are why I have interest in attending. Today was the final sermon of a 4 part series on marriage. The Pastor had a variety of examples to choose from in the bible but took interest in Hosea and Song of Solomon and in detail explained a few chapters that I had never really actually read before. It was amazing and eye opening.

When I taught Gospel Doctrine in our previous ward in Utah, I tried to imagine the setting of stories I was teaching about and I tried to explain it in my lesson that people could envision. Something like "Imagine your standing with your heavy armor in a group of soldiers, and someone yells a battle cry and everyone joins in - just imagine that sound of thousands of warriors yelling before battle" I tried to project these types of images into my lessons and I would frequently get complimented for it. I suppose this same attempt was a precursor to working myself out of the church. The Pastor frequently does the same thing. Today, he tried to help us envision a woman on a auction block being sold into slavery. I'm just summarizing, but the way he described it made me feel as if I was there and we could feel the same emotions/thoughts that she would be feeling.

It was imagery and rawness that I never get in the LDS setting. On the way home, Mrs Misbehaved and I were talking about it. The LDS version just selects a topic and cherry pics a few verses to support it. They never sit down and thoroughly explore a chapter or two. I said its because they don't want you actually sitting down and understanding/studying it. They just want you to study the study manual, not the actual scared text.

The sermon wasn't directed specifically to Mothers Day, but the Pastor tied it in a little bit and that was nice. As we walked in, they handed a carnation flower to all the women. I got a coffee from the refreshment counter and enjoyed sipping it during the services. I wore shorts, t-shirt and sandals. It was nice. Much more pleasant than anything I had experienced lately our ward services.

So I left church today feeling a bit more hopeful. Hopeful that good can come out of religion. Hopeful that even though I don't believe in God/Jesus like I did previously, the teachings about God and Jesus can still be applicable and benefit my relationships with my wife, family and community. Hopeful that this arduous journey I've been on the past two years +/- has a the chance to build positive feelings again regarding God/religion. Feeling like I'm finding myself again. Feeling hopeful that our marriage can rebuild.

[Meilingkie]

Hi Kori, this was a good read, and a great development.
Over here I am slowly trying to get DW to do the Same.
Been invited by my new colleague to their Church-BBQ to test the waters.

[crossmyheart]

My children are starting to make friends with neighborhood children who all attend different churches. They are at the age where they are starting to get invited attend the Wednesday night activities with their little friends. Reading this actually made me excited about it.
Thanks for sharing.