So I Got The "You'll Be Held Accountable" Speech Today

[Mad Jax]

My family isn't LDS. They're all protestant of some kind, I would say. But as the saying goes - the song remains the same.

My dear sister led the charge. Actually everyone else stayed out of it, but she gave me a battery of the same questions and I didn't think about ignoring it until the momentum got going. Trust me, the grass isn't any greener in families that attend other churches.

[Give It Time]

I've only gotten these from members. My father's side was anti-Mormon, but non-religious, so I guess they didn't think they had room to talk. I've given the speech myself, I'm ashamed to say and I've gotten it on many an occasion.

Wherever there are two or more gathered in Mormonism's name, there will be shaming. If the situation is casual enough, I pretend to dial a phone, then I hold the pretend phone to my ear. Then I say, "Hello Kettle? This is pot. You're black." Then I hang up the "phone" and shrug non-chalantly at my accusers.

I don't know if this trick could even apply in your family, but I've found a fair amount of shaming is someone is trying to draw attention away from their own sins.

[Mad Jax]

My sin is stubborn unbelief, the one transgression that can't be squared. I'm not sure how bad this is in LDS families; as in, is it worse to deny the existence of god, or is it worse to imply that god exists but Joseph Smith was a fraud?

None of my family are angels (true of everyone really) so your response would work well if it was some kind of "sin" I was accused of committing. My other sister now thinks I'm influencing my nephew, despite the fact that his dad is an atheist and his mom never gave him a reason to believe that her faith ever made her life better.

I try not to be bitter but I really feel like it's all coming from their end. I have no desire to change their belief, and don't care one whit what they decide their view of reality is going to be, or what conclusion they claim to draw from evidence. I even often wish I could find some kind of way to believe in a god, but I can't. I don't have the power to "repent" of this alleged trespass. Not that I owe them that anyway.

I'm sure what you say is true about LDS homes, I've seen some pretty cringeworthy moments in those households as well. It's usually over something absurd too, like listening to rock music that "carries a bad spirit" or something equally ludicrous.

[Margarita]

Huh...when I read the OP..I thought maybe you had talked to my Dad.

[Corsair]

I got the "You'll Be Held Accountable" speech some time ago. But I replied something about how I am happy to be held accountable for following my conscience and making moral decisions. I continue to be happy to stand before God with my decisions I have made.

[Mormorrisey]

I got the "You'll Be Held Accountable" speech some time ago. But I replied something about how I am happy to be held accountable for following my conscience and making moral decisions. I continue to be happy to stand before God with my decisions I have made.

And this attitude drives guilt and shame-ridden church members NUTS. I'm convinced that in part, Sister M's anger at my stance is simple jealousy - I'm more at peace and calm with my relationship with the church than ever before, and there's nothing that will move me from my stance, including spiritual manipulation, threats and/or emotional distance. All of which I respond with simple apathy. That's the best response to this kind of speech.

[Mad Jax]

I got the "You'll Be Held Accountable" speech some time ago. But I replied something about how I am happy to be held accountable for following my conscience and making moral decisions. I continue to be happy to stand before God with my decisions I have made.

And this attitude drives guilt and shame-ridden church members NUTS. I'm convinced that in part, Sister M's anger at my stance is simple jealousy - I'm more at peace and calm with my relationship with the church than ever before, and there's nothing that will move me from my stance, including spiritual manipulation, threats and/or emotional distance. All of which I respond with simple apathy. That's the best response to this kind of speech.

If it's just me and my disagreement with my family, I would concur wholeheartedly. I won't let anti-scientific nonsense spewed in front of my nieces and nephews go unchallenged, however. My own dad killed a lot of my natural love of science when I was a kid, and I won't let him or my stepmom (very dear to me but nevertheless) make bulls**t pseudoscientific claims or disparage the scientific process without countering it.