Can you please answer this question?

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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NOWmormon
Posts: 54
Joined: Sun Apr 30, 2017 10:53 am

Can you please answer this question?

Post by NOWmormon »

As I begin this journey on NOM, I would like to know who my new friends are.
Can you let me know if you are a current "member of record" or no.
Thank you.
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MalcolmVillager
Posts: 703
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:01 pm

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by MalcolmVillager »

I am a member, active non-believer. Hold a recommend and calling. Go most weeks. Often because of habit, or because the weather sucks, or to be with family and friends, or because I have pressure to go.

Sometimes I enjoy it. Sometimes it is uplifting. Sometimes I put up with it. Other times it is maddening.

Many here are in the same boat. Some have left on the record and others just emotionally.

I will let others speak for themselves.
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Emower
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 10:35 pm
Location: Carson City

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by Emower »

Yep, member of record, for what that is worth anymore.
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trophywife26.2
Posts: 247
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:50 pm

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by trophywife26.2 »

I'm on the rolls, but not in the chairs for 2 years now. Don't plan on changing either status.
Even if it's something disappointing, it's still better to know the truth. Because people can deal with disappointment. And once they've done that, they can feel that they have really grown. And that can be such a good feeling. -Fred Rogers
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HighMaintenance
Posts: 127
Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2016 9:04 am

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by HighMaintenance »

Technically still on the roles, but 20 years since I've attended.
Somewhere on a toilet wall I read the words 'You form a line to formalize the former lies.' And I finally saw the truth - Slipknot
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AllieOop
Posts: 582
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 9:39 am
Location: Where the sand meets the Sea...

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by AllieOop »

I'm still a member, but my husband and I have not attended for almost 7 years. Two of my four kids are still very active and very involved, so I try to stay informed of what is going on within the church.

I keep hoping that at least one of my 2 (they are the older 2 who are active) will figure things out and someday become a member here on NOM.....I can only dream for now though! I am envious of those on here who got out when all their kids were young enough to leave with them.
"There came a time when the desire to know the truth about the church became stronger than the desire to know the church was true."
desertrat
Posts: 26
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:21 pm

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by desertrat »

Welcome. I have not been active for about a year and a half and am now considering officially resigning. My temple reccomend expired last June. Before that I have always had a recommend and toed the line since I recieved my endowment at 19. Served a mission. Went to college for way too long and took an institute class every single semester. Married in the temple. Had four kids. Served in various callings but nothing too major. Went down the rabbit hole. Found Richard Bushman. Found BCC. Found Rational Faiths. Found the FAIR podcast. Found Mormon Matters podcast. Doubled down. Found Mormon Stories. Found Dialog. Found David Bokovoy. Found Michael Quinn. Found Todd Compton. Found out I've been lied to and deceived my whole life. Got PISSED! Got sad. Got depressed. Got scared. Got therapy. Stopped going. Wife stopped going. Went camping. Got free. Getting better.

I don't show up here a lot anymore, but I probably should. I received a lot of support here. These are good people that will support whatever direction your journey takes you.
Give It Time
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Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2017 4:52 pm

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by Give It Time »

Yes. My son is a full believer. I attend to support him. Problem is he hates the ward (actually, he hates Mormon ways and hasn't been in enough wards to know that's just how we are), so he and I don't attend much. Frankly, I am a spiritual person, if attending without my son didn't make him look bad, I'd probably attend 10-20% more.
At 70 years-old, my older self would tell my younger self to use the words, "f*ck off" much more frequently. --Helen Mirren
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JustHangingOn@57
Posts: 83
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:54 pm
Location: Right in the thick of it.

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by JustHangingOn@57 »

57 year old high priest. Totally just going through the motions because of spouse. Full tithe payer and temple recommend holder. Shelf was rickety throughout my 30+ years as an active member. Completely crashed about a year ago. Had several discussions with TBM wife about my disaffection. We have a stable truce. I pretend to be active and she won't torment me about "coming back"
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Red Ryder
Posts: 4182
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by Red Ryder »

desertrat wrote: Tue May 02, 2017 9:06 pm Welcome. I have not been active for about a year and a half and am now considering officially resigning. My temple reccomend expired last June. Before that I have always had a recommend and toed the line since I recieved my endowment at 19. Served a mission. Went to college for way too long and took an institute class every single semester. Married in the temple. Had four kids. Served in various callings but nothing too major. Went down the rabbit hole. Found Richard Bushman. Found BCC. Found Rational Faiths. Found the FAIR podcast. Found Mormon Matters podcast. Doubled down. Found Mormon Stories. Found Dialog. Found David Bokovoy. Found Michael Quinn. Found Todd Compton. Found out I've been lied to and deceived my whole life. Got PISSED! Got sad. Got depressed. Got scared. Got therapy. Stopped going. Wife stopped going. Went camping. Got free. Getting better.
Sheesh! I'm exhausted just reading that desertrat!
I'm a 1 hour a week mormon working on maintaining my status in the "Not Even Once Fast Sunday Club". Still a member of record without a TR, non tithe paying, lame calling that requires literally nothing from me. If Mormonism is a big tent, I'm literally standing at the back with one foot out the door. Pretty much just attached through the wife and kids desire to go.

NOM can be anything you want it to be. From 99% active to 99% inactive or even resigned. Some here have resigned but still find value in our community. It's up to you.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
Charlotte
Posts: 87
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 4:35 pm

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by Charlotte »

I attend, have callings, pay tithing, and have a TR because I've so far seen my way clear to answer the questions.
Anon70
Posts: 606
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 11:56 pm

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by Anon70 »

On the rolls. Active. Callings. TR. Pay tithing on increase. Non believer. So many reasons for still attending. Welcome!
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moksha
Posts: 5286
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by moksha »

NOWmormon wrote: Tue May 02, 2017 6:26 pm As I begin this journey on NOM, I would like to know who my new friends are.
Can you let me know if you are a current "member of record" or no.
Thank you.
NOMs tend to have such varied beliefs, that choosing a friend or foe based solely on "member of record" might not be the best decision making criteria. For instance, on first sight, I would have trouble distinguishing a True Blue Mormon for a practicing Druid unless I knew for certain that Druids do not have a thing for wearing IBM business apparel on Sundays.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha
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Vlad the Emailer
Posts: 169
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2016 1:03 pm
Location: Lower Midwest

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by Vlad the Emailer »

Yes.
When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either cease being mistaken, or cease being honest. - Anonymous

Say what you want about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying. - Kurt Vonnegut
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RubinHighlander
Posts: 1906
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:20 am
Location: Behind the Zion Curtain

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by RubinHighlander »

Still on the books, but formal email sent to SP and Bish two years ago.

I stay somewhat informed on the goings on with the COB as I still have an active mom and some active extended fam. Also have several TBM cooworkers and friends. I enjoy living in Utah: The liquor laws suck but it's not prohibition. There's a lot of things closed on Sundays but most folks are in church so it's less of them in the great outdoors!
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE
Corsair
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Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:58 am
Location: Phoenix

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by Corsair »

Active, weekly attendance, serve on Scout Committee and in YM Presidency, current temple recommend, believe virtually none of the doctrine, don't pay tithing. But I enjoy scouting.

My dear wife is a strong believer and we have come to peace over our differences mainly by not talking about them. While this is not the most healthy state, I am at a place in my non-belief where I am simply bored with the church so not talking about the problems is not as appealing as it once was. I spend more time on other secular pursuits that are better for my well being and career. My children are effectively 50% out and it would not surprise me to see that at 75% or 100% in a few years. My one child that is most faithful is also the most emotionally mature and will not suffer fools. If she remains in the church I truly expect that it will be a relatively healthy place for her.
Korihor
Posts: 1239
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:37 am

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by Korihor »

I seem to be changing weekly.

Name still on records. Don't believe any of the hokus pokus. I recognize and value the people and their good hearts (even if they still believe for whatever reason). Until recently we were mostly active, but 2 weeks ago was our last. Still have a temple recommend. Don't plan on actually attending the temple.

Mormonism is my tribe/community. But that seems to be changing is that is it only one of our tribes/communities.

Trying to decide whether or not to remove name from records.

Given the opportunity, I would like to do something to force their hand and hold a "court of love" rather than simply resigning.
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.
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MerrieMiss
Posts: 580
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 9:03 pm

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by MerrieMiss »

I attend weekly, have a calling, and a TR. I don't have any reason to resign. I wouldn't mind going inactive, but I remain active for my husband (more so because his family lives close by). I fantasize about making a cross country move where no one knows I'm mormon and I can start all over.
Thoughtful
Posts: 1162
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Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by Thoughtful »

MerrieMiss wrote: Wed May 03, 2017 11:16 am I attend weekly, have a calling, and a TR. I don't have any reason to resign. I wouldn't mind going inactive, but I remain active for my husband (more so because his family lives close by). I fantasize about making a cross country move where no one knows I'm mormon and I can start all over.
Exactly this.
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wtfluff
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Location: Worshiping Gravity / Pulling Taffy

Re: Can you please answer this question?

Post by wtfluff »

Member of record, non attending.

Did everything on the mormon-checklist for more than 40 years before my bubble popped!

Spouse still attends, children 66.7% out so far...
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

Gave up who I am for who you wanted me to be...
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