Irritating mission attitudes

[Emower]

I read this qoute on a family member's Facebook today.

“President Monson never intended for all of the young women in the Church to go on missions by dropping [the] age [to 19]. We’re very grateful for those who go. It’s changed the face of the Church. … But we do not want anyone feeling inadequate or left out or undignified or tarnished because she did not choose to serve a mission. And we’re a little irritated with young men who say, ‘Well, I’m not going to date you because you didn’t serve a mission.’ … We do not want that kind of climate over dating or marriages. … It isn’t our place to pass a judgment.” —Jeffrey R. Holland

I get it, we would rather the girls get married, preferably before they learn to think for themselves, than go on a mission. But dang, I know a whole lot of young men who could have really used the "We don't want that kind of climate over dating and marriage."
The inconsistencies are just really irritating to me.

[Korihor]

But if a young man doesn't go - shame away!

I think this a great example of the law of unintended consequences and inability of prophets to foresee them (again).

[nibbler]

What's good for the goose.

[MalcolmVillager]

Missions are like basic training for the little PH bots they want us to become. It isn't the same for the non PH holding baby factories (women) of the church.

[Snowdrop]

That quote is in this months Ensign. (Link below.) I found this article troubling as it diminishes the need for strong personal convictions and inspiration, dismisses the intelligence of women, and focuses on marriage as the be all end all goal of every choice a young woman can make. This mentality will never create a culture which believes that men and women are equal and can truly function as partners.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/04/youn ... t?lang=eng

[Give It Time]

That quote is in this months Ensign. (Link below.) I found this article troubling as it diminishes the need for strong personal convictions and inspiration, dismisses the intelligence of women, and focuses on marriage as the be all end all goal of every choice a young woman can make. This mentality will never create a culture which believes that men and women are equal and can truly function as partners.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/04/youn ... t?lang=eng

There are men who are afraid of female returned missionaries, because they develop the qualities you mention. I don't think Elder Holland is going for the fear factor, but a mission makes a woman more assured and independent and I do believe curtailing that is something behind Elder Holland's remarks.

Additionally, this shouldn't be something that hangs over dating and marriage.

Finally, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

[Meilingkie]

Well we are seeing it in Holland in the dating-scene.
Many RM-men no longer want to date a girl who didn´t do time herself.
Talk about setting yourself up for failure, the pond is small already as it is.....

[TestimonyLost]

This was a painful quote to see on my Facebook feed. I'm a dude but I left my mission early (by choice) and I spent years feeling "inadequate or left out or undignified or tarnished." I'm in my mid-30s and I only let go of most of the pain a within the past five years or so. At least a decade of feeling unworthy and less than! It's deeply ironic to see the great concern over young women feeling that way while carrying on a system that by design does just that to the young men.