"I am doing the best I can under the circumstances"

[Not Buying It]

I had the strangest dream just before I woke up this morning, but it crystallized and explicated so well where I am at with the Church. I was sitting in some kind of seminary leadership council, and I heard a rather self-righteous fellow to the right of me whisper "you should be excommunicated". I turned to him and said "what did you say?" He wouldn't repeat it, so I said "You think I should be excommunicated?"

"Do you believe in big tent Mormonism that can accommodate many different ideas, or a narrow small tent Mormonism with just a few? And if you believe in a narrow Mormonism, which one? Bruce R. MCConkie's, Joseph F. Smith's, Boyd K. Packer's? (I might well have added Dieter H. Uchtdorf's or Terryl Givens, but I was doing OK considering I was asleep). Because all of them contradict each other, the Brethren have taught a lot of different things over the years. Whose narrow Mormonism should you follow?

And on top of that, it's not my fault that Joseph Smith was sleeping around with teenage girls. It's not my fault he was sleeping around with other women behind his wife's back. I didn't do those things - he did. So I am doing the best I can under the circumstances I find myself in".

Not sure where that came from in the dream state, but it is pretty much what I would have said if I was awake. I am doing the best I can under the circumstances I find myself in.

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

This is exactly what I use to forgive my parents for raising me in the church, even though my Dad claims he knew since his mission that it was bunk. He did the best he could to raise us in the cultural circumstances he knew at the time, pre-internet. I'm not sure I can use the same excuse for my own parenting within the church, except for preventing divorce and cultural ostricism, and my own indoctrinated fears.

[Corsair]

Not sure where that came from in the dream state, but it is pretty much what I would have said if I was awake. I am doing the best I can under the circumstances I find myself in.

You are clearly able to summon the spirits of indignation at difficult times. This is showing the effects of rebellion against the narrative of apostates that the LDS church desperately wants to maintain. I really liked the answer you gave to your dream accuser of "which one?"

[MalcolmVillager]

I love it. "Which one?"

As brother Wooley said to Brother Brigham, this is as much your church as his.

[Journey]

I agree, you most certainly are doing the best you can under the circumstances. And no, none of that is your fault, or either one of us. What a steaming pile we find ourselves under sometimes

[Red Ryder]

Thanks for this insight. I'm going to take it into my next session of therapy. One of the greatest benefits of NOM is the little things that others do or say that help in our own similar situations.

What do you do when your best isn't good enough for the church? The church expectations are unattainable for people like us.

[Corsair]

What do you do when your best isn't good enough for the church? The church expectations are unattainable for people like us.

I have been trying to figure this out for years. My deeply believing wife has granted me the big advantage that she has come to some peace over my beliefs, but is also quite desirous to not be the "church widow" sitting alone in sacrament meeting. I attend "faithfully" and simply have a higher tolerance for the Sabbath Silliness

But this luck won't last forever. One of these days the bishop is going to ask me to serve in a calling that I simply have to turn down like ward mission leader, or being in an EQ presidency, or even teaching Primary at this point. The biggest looming conflict is still a ways off, but it's not abating either. My wife wants to be a full time senior missionary, preferably with me. I simply will not do that.

[shadow]

The biggest looming conflict is still a ways off, but it's not abating either. My wife wants to be a full time senior missionary, preferably with me. I simply will not do that.

At least it's still preferably with you.

[Not Buying It]

Life is short. Grandchildren grow up fast. Senior missions are one of the biggest ways the Church cheats members out of time with family. It disgusts me really.

[Mormorrisey]

Doing my best? Not sure I can say I'm doing the Hinckley "doing my VERY best," but I try. As long as everyone else around me is doing the same, it's not so bad.