Leaving Ultra-Orthodox Life

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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shadow
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Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 4:07 pm

Leaving Ultra-Orthodox Life

Post by shadow »

Interesting Article on people who have left the orthodox Jewish community in the NYTimes Magazine.
"The High Price of Leaving Ultra-Orthodox Life"


Rebellion for rebellions sake.
On the coffee table were two pizzas, one kosher, one nonkosher. The kosher pizza tasted better, but only a couple of people ate it.
Reminds me of this comic:
Image


This part sounds more like our fundamentalist brothers and sisters, but the part about the breakup of mixed faith families is pretty relevant to this board, I think.
So once they leave, if they leave, they learn how ill equipped they are for survival outside their home neighborhoods, and that has a lot to do with the ways that ultra-Orthodox communities are valuable and good: the daily cycle of prayer and school and learning; how people share goals about family and values; how neighbors support one another during times of need. Once that’s gone, and all a person has is her mostly Judaic-studies education and little familial support and no real skills, life gets scary. For those who leave and are married with children, the community tends to embrace the spouse left behind and help raise funds for legal support to help that person retain custody of the children. You could be someone with a spouse and children one day and find yourself completely alone the next.

Just replace "Footsteps" with NOM?
What if it doesn’t get besser? What if hell is hotter? They had only one another to help answer these questions. In that way, Footsteps is a lot like the organized religion it’s designed to help its members transition out of: Each exists to make sense of an utterly baffling world. But whereas religion seeks to reassure you that you’re not alone, Footsteps seeks to reassure you when you realize that you are.
"Healing is impossible in loneliness; it is the opposite of loneliness. Conviviality is healing. To be healed we must come with all the other creates to the feast of Creation." --Wendell Berry
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RubinHighlander
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Location: Behind the Zion Curtain

Re: Leaving Ultra-Orthodox Life

Post by RubinHighlander »

I don't agree with the beer comic, but I've had the same problem with wine; I just can't seem to make it work for me, even though I keep trying.

This is also an interesting tale of leaving:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xqCkx6WQBE

He was pretty close to becoming a priest.
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE
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MerrieMiss
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Re: Leaving Ultra-Orthodox Life

Post by MerrieMiss »

And there's this one too. I've meant to post it, but never have:

https://aeon.co/essays/secretly-seduced ... ouble-life
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2bizE
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Re: Leaving Ultra-Orthodox Life

Post by 2bizE »

Wow. I'm sure for many of us NOMs though we were the only ones going through a faith struggle. Then to find out many are struggling. It is very enlightening to see this same struggle among members of other religious groups. We all feel misled. We don't know how to move forward. We are uncertain of the future. NOM has been a great thing for me. A place to meet and share with those who understand. Do we need a NOM 503b organization like in the article? What would be the benefits? Maybe some day I will make it to a NOM gathering....
~2bizE
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Ghost
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Re: Leaving Ultra-Orthodox Life

Post by Ghost »

Good articles. I've seen the "Undercover Atheists" one before.

One of my favorite authors in Cham Potok, and his novel The Chosen and its sequel The Promise deal with this type of story. I'd recommend those books to anyone who hasn't read them.
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