Church survival products

[Red Ryder]

Hmb and dareka's comments in Link's oil vial thread got me thinking about products we could invent or design specifically for church survival.

You could always fill it with a little "something" to help get through church.

The vial would have to be a lot bigger if it's going to be enough to help get through church. Maybe a flask. Or a jug.

Let's start a list of products:

1. The tie flask.
2. Scripture case flask.
3. Temple envelope flask.
4. The temple hat/veil headphones.
5. Foot massaging temple slippers.
6. Google glasses to watch movies.
7. Translation device that converts sacrament meeting talks into Mormon Expression podcasts.
8. Vibrating garment bottoms?
9. Inflatable seat cushions built into pants/dress.
10. Coffee IV drip with slow roast settings.
11. Wireless volume control. To turn down the loudest speakers? Or all of them!
12. Scripture case toaster to toast the sacrament bread.
13. Refrigerated scripture case for mini bar.
14. Laser light pointers with HF/Jesus silhouette.
15. Ventriloquist microphone with angry god voice.

What else?

[Meilingkie]

I Used to have a phone with a fake-call button on the Side. A true lifesaver to get outside boring meetings.

[Linked]

Dress clothes with a bit of cloth sewn in just above the knee, halfway down the upper arm, and symbols on the chest and stomach
Kiddie Cash for the tithing envelope

[Corsair]

Dress clothes with a bit of cloth sewn in just above the knee, halfway down the upper arm, and symbols on the chest and stomach
Kiddie Cash for the tithing envelope

I have heard of BYU freshman (or apostates) putting a line of masking tape around their thigh just above the knee to simulate the garment bottoms. Apparently at BYU there were women who would casually put their hand on your knee when you were sitting next to them when you were on a date together. This gave the false sign that you were an RM and were worthy of things getting more serious (ie., make out session) since a temple marriage was a distinct possibility. (disclaimer: I attended and graduated from Arizona State University)

[LostMormon]

how about a home teacher warning app for your phone, that sends you a push notification anytime your home teacher gets within like 200 feet of you or something, wanting to make that last minute home teaching appointment, of course this would only need to be active on the last sunday of each month.