Just an Update

[Deepthinker]

No real changes in the DT household. DW and I haven't discussed church stuff much. I'm still attending, fulfilling my calling, doing my home teaching, going to the temple, etc. Just renewed my temple recommend last month.

I still sneak out during priesthood most of the time. Sometimes go to the clerks office, sometimes just sit outside in the parking lot.

There are some changes as far as my gay brother is concerned. He and I have talked a lot more. He's decided to unpack all the church stuff from his past. He's listening to podcasts, studying church history, watching Brother Jake videos, etc. It's been helpful for both of us to share our experiences. Even reached out to John Dehlin, knowing how much John has researched homosexuality and Mormonism.

Found out the reason a new family moved into our ward. They had been living in California, the father in a bishopric. A member of the ward made a comment about how the church will change its stance on gay marriage eventually and the Bishop basically agreed. This father was so upset, he turned in his recommend and moved to Utah.

On the opposite side, I've also been thinking about reaching out to a non-believing couple that has been in the ward for a little while. We talked about them in ward council meeting a few weeks ago. They moved here from Washington and she made a comment to someone that it is difficult to be a non-believer and still come to church, that if people were more accepting of them even though they don't believe they might just come. I've thought about leaving a note on their door that they're not the only non-believer in the ward, with a way for them to "spot" me at church.

[MalcolmVillager]

Great update. You should communicate with that non believer one way or another. Even if they don't come back, it gets the word of diversity out. That is a message the check s trying to explore with their diversity video this week and the gay son who left the church video.

I am in a space where I have given myself a short time frame before I feel I could break from a temple recommend. I may need some space for a bit. The old Cinderella song "don't know what you've got tile it's gone" makes me wonder if I could appreciate the temple or really invested activity again.

For now I have no desire to do anything temple or genealogy. I just don't buy any of the dogma or history.

On a lighter note, DW is coming around more. She is listening to podcasts and ranting about polygamy and JS crap. I am praying for a broken shelf!

[redjay]

On the opposite side, I've also been thinking about reaching out to a non-believing couple that has been in the ward for a little while. We talked about them in ward council meeting a few weeks ago. They moved here from Washington and she made a comment to someone that it is difficult to be a non-believer and still come to church, that if people were more accepting of them even though they don't believe they might just come. I've thought about leaving a note on their door that they're not the only non-believer in the ward, with a way for them to "spot" me at church.

/\ This. I think we are awash with pluralistic ignorance - that is we think we are alone in our thoughts because everyone seems to be going along with the norms of the group, when in fact there are others that feel just as we do.

The danger of course is not feeding each others' negativity and being an unhealthily influence on the rest of the group. The other danger is being perceived as a threat - should the orthodox members find out there are a group of unorthodox attenders. I'm really not sure how I would fare if I came out as a non-literal believer. But in theory I think it would be great for you to reach out to them.

[Vlad the Emailer]

I've thought about leaving a note on their door that they're not the only non-believer in the ward, with a way for them to "spot" me at church.

I think that's a great idea.

I have to wonder though, if they both don't believe, why would they want to go to church? Most of us nonbelievers, yet still attenders, are there only because of a believing spouse.

[Deepthinker]

All the positive input to reach out to this non-believing family gave me the courage to actually do it this week!

I agreed with Vlad, that leaving a note and letting them know how to "spot" me at church might not be the best if they don't want to go.

So, I just sent him a text today, letting him know that he's not alone in his non-belief in the ward. I welcomed him to the ward and now plan to stop by sometime this week to say hi. He's excited to meet me.

It feels awesome to finally have found someone in my ward! Maybe I should request to be assigned as his home teacher?

[Korihor]

It feels awesome to finally have found someone in my ward! Maybe I should request to be assigned as his home teacher?

I'm super excited you've found someone in the ward that you can commiserate with.
I kinda had someone like this here and tried to get together in some HTing relationship. The request to become friends was never approved the by the EQP/BP